Hanging with my family was tough tonight because I know this may be the last time. We aren't close really but it is sad. Having been faded for a few
years now but the fact is I am shaking things up and being labeled apostate so it is over with them. Might kill my father 
My secular pressures are just at an all time high. Keeping the kids in line, working with demanding customers blah blah blah just an all time high for me.
My two best friends had a falling out today one of them is out drinking tonihgt (note we are all in AA) He laid it out for me. HE wants to die and I see no
good reason. Anyway.
I keep alienating myself from women, I feel to overwhelmed with the things in my life to give any of them a chance. I deem that it would be unfair for them
so I cut them off as they start to show interest. I feel like a prick for doing this. It also effects my ability to get laid 
Another of my good friends father is in a coma from a heart attack I don't know if he will live
I am really alone tonight I haven' felt this alone in a while and I just needed to vent, tomorrow will be better I have much work to do!
0 Kudo
Tough Night Need to Vent
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 tetsuojackson |
Tough Night Need to Vent |
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MVP (Most Valuable Poster)
Posts: 299 (04/25/08 21:16:01) |
And even if Jehovah witness, bet he'll never testify, D'Evils...
- Jay-Z |
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 Kingsmeg |
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Paramount Poster
Posts: 5663 (04/26/08 03:16:24) |
(((( tetsuo ))))
You can't take the whole world on your shoulders. This is especially true with AA, it really is 'every man for himself' in the end.
Jody
The good Christian should beware of mathematicians. The danger already exists
that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.
-- St. Augustine
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solitaire |
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MVP (Most Valuable Poster)+
Posts: 784 (04/26/08 03:28:56) |
Tetsuo
You really are under pressure at the moment - when we have so many negative things crashing in all at the one time - it sucks 
I can't help you practically with all these things - I can only let you know that I am thinking of you, and hoping you gain some strength from knowing people are listening, and they care!! Try to battle through it - and don't use yourself as a 'whipping boy' with sole responsibility for your fathers well-being - been there - done that it just burdens you with even more guilt - and you need to keep strong for your own sanity at this time!! love and hugs 
Sam |
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tetsuojackson |
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MVP (Most Valuable Poster)
Posts: 301 (04/26/08 04:37:51) |
Thank you Sam and Jody. I was just high on my pity pot and very depressed (it happens when spending a night with JW's) last night.
I am respopnsible for this depression I take this weight upon myself. I choose to run a business I could work at McDonalds if I can't take the heat. I chose to be single. I can't ditate what my friends do... I just needed to vent and get some sleep. Thank you for listening. Today is a new day and it will be a good one!
And even if Jehovah witness, bet he'll never testify, D'Evils...
- Jay-Z |
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Ronnie45 |
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Posts: 11079 (04/26/08 07:24:58) Administrator |
Hi Tetsuo,
I can understand it must be a lot of stress. I know I am not real great about handling too much coming down the pike at one time either----I suppose nobody would be. As far as your family----you know best on how to handle it. Just trust your instincts and do your best, but then I would recommend just letting it go after that. One of your friends is out drinking tonight? Yeah, if he is in AA then that is no good at all. I hope for his sake he makes it back, but there is nothing you can be personally be responsible for on that. If he has any amount of time at all, he should realize what he needs to do at this point and where help is at. Can I ask how much time he had? I try to keep the program fresh in my mind so that I never even get close to having an issue like that. As bad as your problems are, that guy has much worse issues if you know what I mean. My only suggestion is to just to try to take care of yourself and take it as slow and easy as possible...just try not to overwhelm yourself..... Also, I hope your friend pulls through. I see all the time people my age and younger who pass away. I hope that doesn't happen to your friend. I just realize that we all seem to have not much guarantee. I am still thinking though how quick life can happen sometimes. I guess I just appreciate each day for what it is. And glad I have today, which wasn't always as certain as it is now considering some of the things I did in the past. Thankfully things do change for the better most of the time if we stay on the right track...
Last Edited By: Ronnie45
04/26/08 07:33:35.
Edited 1 times.
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tetsuojackson |
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MVP (Most Valuable Poster)
Posts: 307 (04/26/08 08:05:33) |
Yeah he did this a year ago too. HE is just like all of us he has to sabotage when things are going good. He was never a drinker he is a drug addict but he has
no illusions that he can drink successfully either. He just can't stand being abnormal and it drives him nuts so he goes out to fit in and feel normal
because he is empty. I don't know I am not painitng a good picture here he is just being selfish and on his pity machine. I hope he makes it back because
he has been dead once already
And even if Jehovah witness, bet he'll never testify, D'Evils...
- Jay-Z |
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Leotheturtle |
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MVP (Most Valuable Poster)+
Posts: 962 (04/26/08 15:17:11) |
He just can't stand being abnormal and it drives him nuts so he goes out to fit in and feel normal because he is empty.that sounds all too familiar. hang in there man. remember you can only take on so much. first things first and all that jazz... dont let others get you down too much. 
Rusty
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tetsuojackson |
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MVP (Most Valuable Poster)
Posts: 309 (04/26/08 18:49:27) |
HA well luckily he didn't drink he just had a bitter resentment filled night and made us think he did. Childish yes but better than drinking (in his case)
And even if Jehovah witness, bet he'll never testify, D'Evils...
- Jay-Z |
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