Here's some more stupid ones: LOLOL

Package of batteries: "Batteries Not Included"

Spear gun: "Do not point directly at face."

Vacuum cleaner hose: "Keep Away From Penis"

Box of animal crackers: "No animals were harmed during the manufacture of this product."

Bag of potato chips: "Due to the law of averages, some unbroken chips may accidentally be included in this package."

Restaurant bathroom: "Employees must wash hands before spitting in customers' food"

Ashton Kutcher videos: "May cause nausea, headache or drowsiness."

Box of Miracle-Gro plant food: "Not meant to be used on penis."

Bottle of French dressing: «Apprenez svp à parler une langue étrangère, bâtards américains paresseux.»

Cellular telephones: "Frequent use of this product while driving is encouraged by the American Organ Donor Consortium."

Political campaign speeches: "Any claims or promises are meant as entertainment only and do not represent actual product performance."

ATM machines: "Please Do Not Insert Penis"