hidhowhite wrote:
I know I don't want to raise my little girls as witnesses. I just don't know how to tell my family. Its sad, I mean I'm freakin 33- I should be able to have a backbone and stand up for what I do or don't believe in. I am just not there yet. Any advice?
Oh please don't be so hard on yourself. It's not that you don't have a backbone at the age of 33, but rather that for the last 33 years you have been conditioned to be seen and not heard, listen and not question. It's not your fault that you were raised a JW.

When I started sending my girls to school and watching them go through what I went through as a kid - that was the breaking point for me too. I began questioning everything because I wanted to make sure that this was all really worth it. It took me about 9 years of not fitting in and then about 2 solid years of thinking it over. I finally realized that I was trying to force myself to be something that I'll never be. I chose to disassociate but I also didn't have a lot of family to lose. It takes time so make sure you're ready. No one can tell you if you should disassociate or fade, that choice is up to you. But we can be here for support! You've already taken a step in the right direction by looking for help. I'm very new here too and this board has been wonderful. Good luck. image