Hello again, some one had sent me a private message asking about my husband and what caused him to nearly go over to edge. I was going to send them a reply, but decided that I would rather tell not just them, but every one, in hopes to help any who might be reading my post. Here is my response.

I don't mind telling why. With my husband's case it was several things.

First something (I don't want to go into those details) has caused my husband to be put on private reproof. I don't know if they still use that term, but private reproof is where a person did something that was not public knowledge. But he or she goes to the elders can confesses what they did. Of course they are sorry for their actions, and promise they will never do that again. The elders feel like they are sincere about what they are saying. With a private reproof, there is no announcement to the rest of the members at the Kingdom Hall.

The results of this private reproof, my husband was no longer allowed to have any "privileges", that ment he was no longer allowed to give any talks from the stage (he did not mind that part, because he hates getting up in front of people to speak, and he hated the part of preparing for those "talks". He was no longer allowed to raise his hand to answer any questions like during the Watchtower study, the book study, or the parts that were on Thursday nights (I forget what they call that meeting). I believe there were a couple of other things he was not allowed to do, but I can't recall what those things where. He was though, still allowed to go out in field service. After a certain period of time, a person is suppose to come off of being private reproof, if the elders have felt like he or she has truly repented (their words). But in reality it meant attending all their meetings, assemblies, and going out in field service.

Now in my husband's case, he did really repent of his actions, because he never did that thing ever again since then. But the elders could never see that. Long story short, they never did remove him from being on this "private reproof", even after four years. I remember the last meeting he had with the elders on trying to get off of that "private reproof". He had lost his temper and told them to f--k off, he was done with even trying to get off that "private reproof". I was shocked that there was no recourse on the elders part.

But that was not what caused him to almost go over the edge, it was just the first part.

When I had introduced myself, I talked about how we had due to employment reasons, ended up moving back to Kansas. With that job, it caused my husband to work from 4:30 pm to 4:30 am. I don't know how other wives handle the way their spouses does their jobs. But with me, I feel that a man has to do what he has to do to support his family. So it never bothered me, as long as he spends some reasonable amount of time with his family.

But because of him not making the meetings, and working instead, he got blasted from those from the kingdom hall, (the elders, and the other brothers at the hall). He even got it from his dad, and his brother. They all made him feel like he was nothing, because he not attending those meeting. They did not care that he was keeping a roof over his family heads, or that he was keeping food on the table, or that he was keeping the utilities on, plus all the other countless things that are involved in the day to day living.

At the time this was going on, I knew that he was unhappy because of that, but I did not know how truly miserable he was. After we learned the truth about the Watchtower Society, the Jehovah's Witness. After we learned that Salvation does not come through works, we could feel all the stresses that we were dealing with just melt away. It was the first time in my life that I could ever put my past truly behind me. Before if I made a mistake, and we all do, I could never truly put it behind me. There were things I was still keeping fresh in my mind, things that had happened many years in the past. As a JW, I could just never let, my own "sins" just go away. When I talk about "sins", I'm not talking about things like theft, drugs, but it was things that I felt like did not live up to the Watchtower's standards. As a JW, perfection was my short coming. Since leaving the JWs I have learned to relax, and enjoy life a lot more.