Apologizing all the time may be only a symptom of something deeper. Simply stopping the saying of "I'm sorry..." maybe doesn't address the real problem, if there is a real problem. It is a good start however, because our actions and inner feelings sometimes follow from our words, or in this case not saying the words. The mere act of catching yourself before the words automatically come out gives you pause to think before you speak or don't speak... "Why do I feel the need to apologize?"

I deeply believe that we are not in control of others feelings, nor are they in control of ours. Not everyone agrees with me on this, so I don't want to beat it to death, but--sometimes we feel obligated to apologize to someone when we know that they have become upset, sad, mad, or disappointed by something we have done or said. This is different than the social convention for saying "I'm sorry..." after delivering some bad news--I don't think that's what we're talking about here. Do we automatically say we're sorry because we feel like we are in control of others feelings? If so, we need to think about it a little more. At some level, people decide for themselves what to feel and how to react, even if it is a conditioned response and it comes automatically without consciously thinking about it. I believe we can change that about ourselves by exploring the issue of control.

When you say that you apologize all the time for being who you are, I would infer that you are taking responsibility for other people's feelings that you really have no control over. If some stranger on the street walked up to you and said "I don't like you" would you take that seriously? You would probably just laugh about it thinking that the person doesn't even know you. What really is the difference between that situation and another situation where someone you DO know says those words to you? You might be more inclined to find out why they feel that way, especially if it is someone you care about. But ultimately, you really have no control over whether someone likes you, dislikes you, or is upset by the way you live or what you do. At best, you might be able to influence what they think, but you can't control it. And why would you want to?

As Suzi and Misty said, a person can be humble and yet be self-confident. And self-confidence is much different that arrogance or hubris. I guess I would only invite you to explore what you are truly feeling when you apologize to someone. Are you apologizing because you feel like you have really done something wrong or because you are sympathizing with what they are experiencing?

I think you have a lot to be proud of, Tracy. The Borg has thoroughly confused people about humility, it takes a while to shake that off and get it out of our psyche. Blind obedience is NOT humility, nor is it always low self-esteem. The Borg would have us feel that we simply don't have humility because we don't buy the company line. Damn straight we don't buy it, but not because we aren't humble enough, we are just no longer that stupid.

Here's a great big (((((((HUG)))))))).

"There is no shame in not knowing; the shame lies in not finding out." ~ Russian Proverb