There is no way any of us can have control of others feelings. This conversation made me think of that scene in Pulp Fiction where John Travolta asks Marsella's wife in that weird restaurant to not be offended at what he is about to say. Marsella's wife says that she can't promise that, because she has no idea what he is going to say. Her natural reaction could be one of great offense, and it's unfair for him to ask that question. She says that she can't control her reaction, and the only way Travolta can attempt to is to be nice about it. For those of you who have seen the movie and remember what I'm talking about, you'll recall that Travolta sounds a little ridiculous as he says what he wants to say.

If we say something, we have absolutely no control over how anyone is going to take or read what we say or write. There is no way we can, in fact, especially when you write something such as I'm doing right now, the very tone and inflection of my voice is missing, none of you (with the exception of one person on here) have ever talked to me on the phone or in person, and therefore would have even less of an idea as to whether or not I was joking, being a jerk, or whatever. Therefore, it's easy to unintentionally offend. I'm sure we've all unknowingly done it.

We can say that we don't mean to offend or whatever, but if the natural reaction is offense, it will still happen however they will attempt to squash it out of courtesy for our bluntness, but only because we warned them. We have a conditioned nature to what is offensive and what isn't to us. Some people can take tons of personal jokes or ribbings in good fun, others can dish it out with the best of them but never take it (don't you hate those people?). I think a lot of it is in how you were socialized, particularly when you are young. I think the lines for what offends us are drawn very early in life and become less flexible as we get older. Also, certain people can cross certain lines while others can't. Example- if you have a gay best friend, you may jokingly use a gay slur with him, but he knows it's a joke. This same word however could cause a fight if he doesn't know the person who says it. Context is everything.

Now, as far as humility, I would argue that amongst worldly people JW's are arrogant. They think they have the truth, you don't, and I'm better than you as a result. They CERTAINLY think they are better than EVERYONE on this forum. I'm going over to my best friend's house today to apologize to his father for some things that happened while I was still in the Borg. He pissed me off because he saw the JW's for what they were. I viewed him as "persecution" and so I had no problem being an asshole to him. Let's just say that I've got some explaining to do, as well as some legitimate apologizing. Humility comes and goes with the people you are with. So perhaps they are more humble amongst themselves or those they know intimately than they are with the outside world. And that could be the whole issue, assuming that it's not just a bad habit. That would be my guess, I mean, anyone else here having a hard time of getting the habit of saying "God bless you?" I think that you just, at some point, got into the habit of saying I'm sorry a lot. I think it's great that your girlfriend wants to see you stop doing this, as you probably have nothing to apologize for! This way, you two can get along better and she knows you'll mean it when you actually DO have to apologize.

Sorry to ramble, this post just got me thinking I suppose

-Dave

"I hate to break it to you, but there is no big lie. There is no system. The universe is indifferent."

--Don Draper--



Last Edited By: exjw11109 Jun 14 09 11:46 AM. Edited 1 times.