The truth is that there is not a damn thing wrong with you. If there were, there wouldn't be JW survival boards, and support groups. You are very right in that we are taught how to set people up to fail; we were set up to fail. That's how all of the madness works. If you fail, then you have to find your way back to redemption. When failing involves losing everything you know, you will try and find redemption. The rub comes in when you finally realize that you've been asking for redemption from a group of people who need you to fail, to keep you.

Your also post made me think quite a bit about my own experience and made me consider how I feel about the existence of God and why I feel the way I do. I believe that there is God but that God does not exist because we believe it does. God doesn't actually need to be worshiped. We either chose to do so our not and I don't believe in there are negative repercussions for not believing. Until today, I did not know you existed, it doesn't mean that you haven't but rather that your existence was not a part of my life experience. While it is true that your physical existence can be proven and God's cannot, I still believe-it must be the Sufi in me.

Thank you much for your post!!!