I can tell you this much Anakin. If anyone from the governing body is reading this, this would be their unanimous thought. Hurry up and do it already. I don't mean that to be crass, but that's how they are. They would rather see you dead than educated.

I agree with Jody. Once in a while I run into old JW friends. It's a great satisfaction to see the look of confusion on their face. They believe, and they need to believe that when you leave you instantly age 50 years, cripple up and die of some horrible disease. So when they see you happy, it can put them into a state of confusion. They think, that's not the way it's supposed to be??? Sady from what I've seen, suicides actually stengthen their faith. Yup, they go around whispering to themselves that so and so was possessed by the devil and within a week they've made up a million stories about that person, all bullshit, and that's the sad state they live in. So live well, and your example might release a few of them from their chains.

I also really wish you would seek out some council, but that's something you have to do for yourself. If you do, a doctor will do alot more for you than tell you you were raised in a cult. And another tip, this works for me really well. Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk. Do it everyday. When I'm stressed, I find it very soothing to just walk it off, and enjoy the scenery. Might help, you never know. Take care.