Paradise4in2009 wrote:
Hi herdarkness, I understand exactly how you feel! I too was raised not knowing how to function around people and it has affected me to this day! Communicating with people is one of the hardest things for me to do in my life. I have always felt like an outsider and so different....but I have realized...I WAS different! Being raised as a JW does make us different. We have been taught to stay away from not just people but from everything and anything that has to do with this world and it has taken it's toll on us! We don't know how to act, what to say, where to stand, how to feel, etc... Even when I was going to the meetings, I felt like I didn't belong, couldn't fit in, didn't know what to say to people, so I have pretty much always been a loner! I am now in the process of retraining myself! I feel like I just started my life at age 36. I am trying to build the self confidence that I have always wanted to have. I always felt like the underdog when converting with anyone, but now when I talk to people, I realize, hey these are just human beings too and I have the right to speak and talk just like they do! They are no better than me. A lot of people take me as being a snob, but it's just because I didn't know what to say to people! Now, I just be myself and usually when a conversation starts, something will come up to talk about. It's hard but it can be overcome. Just remember that you are just as good as the next person!

I just want to have friends that can come over for party's and just come over to have a good time. I have never experienced that. And I almost feel like I'm running out of time and before I know it I will be 60 with no friends. Time is really of the essence. I have been a loner also all my life and I really hate it. But being a loner and being a JW went hand and hand that's what they do separate theirselves and deem the whole world unworthy of their presense. I really hope that by the time Christmas comes I wont be alone. I guess at this point that is wishful thinking, but who knows maybe I will get lucky. image
I hope your're doing well and find friends. May I ask how long it's been since you left the JW cult?