I know it may seem funny to you Eddie but I already feel like I'm 50 because all I've known is heart ache, depression, guilt, hunger and abuse; guess I already got a taste of Armageddon. But the only thing that keeps me going is the fact that I hope I can just have 5 years of real happiness in a life of mostly despair at least that would make it seem as if all I suffered was for somethings. I realize I can never get back my 24 years. I don't believe there is any youth left in me but at least I can open my eyes for today. No hard feelings Eddie I'm just pretty messed up in the life department. spending most of your nights crying and your days waiting for the night to fall so no one can look at you, wears on a person's soul. I'm sure you can relate in some way to this, as many Ex-JW's I'm learning can relate. Different story same hurt we all share.image