Karon

hello and welcome to the board!! There are so many of us here who can identify with your story...........some have come out the other side, others are still fighting to escape the legacies of the religion..........

What I'd like to know is how do I stop looking over my shoulder? How do I stop crying all the time wondering if my grown children...who are my whole life...are going to die at armeggedon? How do I stop worrying about the news everytime I listen to it?

I understand these feelings totally...............I am much the same age as you, and although I 'faded' from the JW's when I was 18 after my JW mother died............I never really 'left' the org until I found this site a couple of years ago.........

Like you, I clung onto all that I had been brought up to believe.............the elder from my congregation also saddled me with the extra guilt of "having to stay faithful to Jehovah (for that read the JW's!!) if I wanted to see my mother again"

so for all the next 30-odd years, I clung to the belief that someday I would have to return to 'the fold'.........that if I could make myself believe again, then Jehovah would make me 'spiritual enough' to go into the 'new system' image

There is only one way to escape all the fears that their mind-control have foisted upon us - and that it to prove to ourselves, beyond any doubt, that what they teach is not 'the truth'............only then will you be able to see the society for what it is.........another religion that demands total subservience to their man-made doctrines..........that tears apart families.......that indoctrinates its members with fear of everything that is not 'JW'............

Do now, what the JW's would never allow.......question, research, open up your mind from the control, and actively research what you have been taught..............I know this is difficult, up until a short time ago, I was still in 'defence mode' regarding the religion....................I would not allow anyone to say anything negative about them.........it was inbuilt in me to always defend them, even when I had no idea why.....even when their teachings seemed totally opposite to what a loving God would want ..........

The greatest thing is, there are so many people who, thanks to the internet (which wasn't around when I left) can come to realise that they are not the 'weak' ones, they are not lacking in 'spirituality'............they are brave enough to question what they are told to accept without question..............

This site has, quite literally in some cases, been a life saver.............it enables us to support and care about others who have travelled the same path - and 'speak the same language'...........it stops us from feeling as the JW's wish us to feel when we leave - isolated!!!

The old chestnut that the JW's were so proud of using "The truth will set you free"..........can actually still be relevant to your life............except its the real truth and not the JW version that will give you freedom from the fear...........

I am so glad that you were brave enough to post - I look forward to knowing you more..........and hearing more of your story!!

Love and Hugs
Sam (another survivor)

Last Edited By: solitaire Oct 11 09 4:53 AM. Edited 2 times.