Again, thanks for your comments.The whole process of getting things in place is so slow over here. My daughter has had input from the help that's out there, but they all seem to have their own angles - we have been told she had autism, then someone else said ADHD and suggested medication, which never surface because that person retired and it never got followed up. It's lead to my daughter thinking that its us who trying to say there is something wrong with her (that she's stupid or mad) and she's not engaged with any help she's been offered since.

School are supportive, but like I mentioned in my other post, the social services' approach just undermines ourselves and the school.

Unfortunatly she's also got her step sister's (just turned 15 - and a whole other saga) example. We had problems with her about a year ago and she moved in with her father. He's just let her smoke, drink, sleep with boys in the house, go to pubs (bars, for you from the US), stay out all weekend with no idea where she is. Now she's saying she realises what she had here, and how her father doesn't care for her by letting her do those things, but at the same time isn't willing to give these things up. So with between her, and what the social services are saying and letting her brother do, she's got a totally distorted view of what is acceptable behaviour.