It's easy for me to type this as I'm sitting here thousands of miles south of you ... reading your story ... but please don't think even for a second that you've 'lost it all'. You haven't. You and your wife have done your level best to provide the best to your children. Your kids are in that awful age group where they know best and will always believe they know best ... until something happens to bring them back down to earth with a thud. They have outside interference from other kids who've no doubt already walked out on their parents and made all sorts of weird and not-so-wonderful claims as to what type of life they were living when at home with their parents (biological or not). While there are indeed lots of kids living in awfully tragic circumstances and places where they're in physical and moral danger ... you'd be thinking a story about parents only buying margarine and cheap bread would be a laughable story for a social worker to be told.    If your daughter complains about her weight ... unless she's totally skeletal as in anorexic ... I doubt the social worker will give her story as much credence as your daughter thinks she has!

Having said that though ... kids are imaginative little creatures and can conjure up all kinds of stories to feel justified in making a move away from home. My boys are only 8 and 11 but they can get quite cross and call me a bully simply because I've told them 'no TV right now' or that they can't have something to eat as dinner is only minutes away. To them I'm cutting them off permanently to entertainment and food! Your kids are older I know but I've no doubt my two will conjure up a few stories here and there of their own.

At the moment you both need to take stock of what's happening and to focus more on yourselves. If the kids want out ... don't fight them anymore. Let them go and perhaps in time they'll realise just how lucky they were to have two parents who truly did care and love them. You need to work out what to do NOW in order to keep your house. Talk to your mortgage lender or banker immediately. Let them know your financial circumstances look set to change soon and see if you can come to some agreement to defer payments or make part-payments of your mortgage for a little while until you can both get back on your feet emotionally and financially. My husband is a banker and has often commented that people tend to leave off notifying the financial institution of financial changes until the last possible moment and then get upset and into a panic if they're told it's to late to work out a solution ... so don't leave it much longer eh.

You both need to breathe and stop beating yourselves up for something you have no control over. You're dealing with influences far stronger and far more devious than your own and unless you're prepared to lock your kids up 24/7 ... there's really not much more you can do. My heart reaches out to you both. We only have a few years until our eldest is a teenager and it's darned scary just thinking about it. You're not alone