Hi Beth, sorry you are going through this rough time.  AS the others have said you ahve been a big help to many people.     But i can understand where you are are coming from.   As Sam said you have come a long way in a short time.   Its one thing to slowly come to terms with what is wrong with the Watchtower and another to suddenly be overwhelmed with all the evidence showing this to be true.  In no time at all everything one believes in is taken away.  Even our basic belief in God is now considered to be nonsense, and as for looking to the Bible for guidence, forget it.  And then there is the loss of family and friends...my word that is a lot to take in in such a short time.

It took me and my wife years to fully escape from Watchtower indoctrination and also to recover some kind of normality.  For a long time we felt like aliens...strangers in the world.  Its was so hard to relate to ordinary people.  When they said something we disagreed with or found unpalatable we would say something, or back off.

Then there was the stage where we were known as ...Eddie and Anne, the exJws.  And while this opened up many doors and led to our being able to help others, there did come a time when we got sick and tired of being identified as ex Jws.  In time my wife Anne became embarrassed to be described as an "ex jw". 

In fact these days most people we associate with have no idea that we were once Jws.  For instance we have just returned from a couple of hours swimming and exercising.  We spoke to quite a few people about a variety of subjects.  Its nice to be able to do that without any strings attached or feeling the need to correct or even mention the dreaded Watchtower.

As for the anger at the Watchtower...boy did i go through some stages of anger and i could write a book about where it led me.  I was insensed at the lies and falseness of the Watchtower, at how they deceived and lied to people.  This was not so much aimed at the ordinary witness who is in my opinion ,in most cases, a victim.   No my anger was at the Watchtower, at the system that had grown into a monster and was controlling and abusing people.   It took a long time for that anger to subside.  In all that time i tried to see the witnesses as people, as mainly honest zealous people who had been manipulated and led astray. 

Maybe you do need a break.  Time to unwind and refresh yourself.   I remember a wise man saying that the first advice he would give to an ex jw was....Go out and enjoy yourself,.....go to the beach....have a holiday....read some good books....make some new friends who know nothing about your past..etc.   I know this is not easy to do when we are overwhelmed at what has gone on in our lives, and with the pain and suffering we experience by being shunned by those who we were once so close to.   Its a rough road to travel and there will be bumps and potholes along the way, and sometimes its good to get off the road and take a break.

Whatever you decide to do..do it for you.   The best answer we can all give to the Watchtower is to be happy and content . 

I like what caribee says...

 I was where you are about a year ago! I think it's a phase we all go thru. It made (and still makes) me soooo angry but I don't let it consume me like I used to. Now I am at a phase where I just try to help others cope with it. It's theraputic for me. It's always going to be a part of you but you CAN turn it into a positive!