hmm... thank you everyone for your helpfule comments... The reason I didn't want to do this gradually is because I would feel as though I'm using my family. Also, my parents would see the signs of me falling off and I would catch flack from them and then they'd try to encourage me and all their efforts would be wasted. By disassociating myself, I make it easier on family and friends... I know how everyone who is close to me would react when seeing me slip away. I've already started missing consecutive meetings in a row, and I don't know how much longer before my parents catch wind of that fact... Then is when the pressure would be on. I do want to move out... but I don't really have any "worldly" friends... just one and she lives 2 states away...
It's just really hard for me right now... I don't have a gameplan and it's just... hard living as a witness was relatively easy... you always have the backing of the brothers and Jehovah when you're doing what's "right"...