Thank you all. I really appreciate the support you all are so willing to give me.

I think that a few things have finally dawned on me by just reading your comments.

Beth - you have come a long way in such a relatively short space of time............
That point that Sam and others brought out is starting to sink in and make sense. (finally) There are just so many factors that went into "why" I didn't get that at first. Part of the reason is my personality. I"m a very level headed person. When I have an issue or a question, I research it , come to a conclusion that makes sense to me, decide that's what I believe and I move on. It's that simple...I just move on. I guess I figured it was going to be that simple for me this time. Research the jw's, prove they are wrong, and move on. Well, obviously it's not working out that way. As much as I'd like to believe that it "doesn't bother me", I think it kinda still really does. I still have this feeling of "shock" inside of me. It's a sense of just learning something so shocking that you simply cannot contain yourself.....you MUST tell others about this "shocking" news! That's how I feel. Like I just cannot get over just how shockingly wrong the organization is that I just want to find some random jw , grab them by the shoulders and shake them up and scream, "do you REALLY know about the society???!!! Wake up you idiot!! Your in a cult!!!" Now, I"m not going to go out there and start hounding all the witnesses I can find in an effort to get them to listen to me. But.....I "feel" like I want to. I totally got that feeling when I read that post from a new user the other day on the "tell your story" board. I think it's called "My Story". I can't even begin to respond to that persons thread. I wouldn't know what to say. I'm at a loss for words yet again.  

In terms of making worldly (eh-hem..."NORMAL") friends, I just don't live a lifestyle right now that gets me out there. I'm a stay at home mom. I own my own business, but it's ran from home online. My kids are in public school and are in grades that it's not common for moms to come in and help out in the classroom. I really don't mind the fact that I lost all my jw friends. To be honest, none of them were very valuable friends to begin with. I'm a very social person. I was liked by alot of people. I was always the "funny" person in the group or party. And everyone knew I was the "do gooder" always helping people. So yeah, I knew alot of people. Yet, the people I drew closest to were nothing like me. They didn't have the same values, likes or dislikes, personality, etc. as me. You could call them "friends" I suppose since I was close with a few of them. But, it always seemed like they never valued my friendship the way I valued theirs. Anyways.....(geeze) long story short....I just don't know if I have it in me to pursue more friends. Ultimately, I'd rather that they pursue me instead because they genuinely like me. I'm just sick and tired of surrounding myself with toxic or fake friends. I don't want to give up on trying to make friends though. I have made some efforts. When I visited my brother in Seattle, I tried to be as open and friendly as possible to their friends so I could get to know some people. That was nice, but I don't live in Seattle so it's hard to cultivate a friendship with someone from there. Then there was a period of time recently that I took my laptop down to the local coffee shop to hang out. Really didn't like the folks that hang around there to be honest. Kinda creepy. Then I tried the local mega bookstore/coffee shop. Still, just a bunch of creepy people. Where o' where are the normal people??

I know I need a break from the jw's research. So I plan on doing that. But I still need people in my life at the moment. There is so much more going on in my life apart from this jw drama that most of you don't know about. So being able to come on this forum and just chat, even if it's in the non-jw subject sections of this forum is good for me. My sister in law called last night to just talk and catch up. (She and my brother are the only ex-jws in our family) It was so nice to just talk to a live human being. I do have plans to get myself out there. I have some school that I am looking to enroll in during the day and I plan on joining a gym rather than working out at home. So I'm hopefull I'll meet some people from there. Locutus hit the nail on the head.....I am lonely. I've never been lonely before in my life. I feel like if I don't find some way of occupying my extra time, I'm going to get myself in trouble some how. I don't know how, but I'm so desperate to be with people I'd do just about anything. It's so weird to be in this position. It really is odd.

Swinglifeaway - You made a good point that I don't think I would have ever recognized before.

You will wake up one day and while you are doing the most mundane thing, perhaps you'll be driving on the highway like I was, and suddenly you will feel a portion of everything you are carrying around slide off your shoulders. It happens in chunks it doesn't happen all at once and you slowly heal and get over things.
  Yep, I've had that happen at least twice already. It feels like such a relief when that happens. I think by realizing that, I now recognize that I have so much more progress to make. I still have never celebrated my birthday. Never had to confront NOT going to the memorial. Never planned any birthday/holiday parties at my house. I've never even had any worldly kids over to play with my kids yet. I can see how sheltered I still realy am. I didn't realize it before. (sigh)