Ughh... well I actually have dealing with depression for the last 5 years... but it just seems wrong to use that as an excuse. Buuuut.... I know it would work... because I've done it before, when I was like 16... My parents would make me switch back to english and go with them... then my dad would always be sermonizing me and telling me how I'm a Jehovah's witness and how I can't fail with his backing... then my mother would get depressed as she sees me slip "downhill"... I'd have to phonily smile in all these people's faces sin my old cong... blah blah blah :/

Here's what I think I'll do:
- stop pioneering. use the all-too-common excuse "I've just been too busy." or "I wasn't ready to start pioneering and I've lost steam." I might even tell the elders about my emotional health. Maybe a combination of the three
- continue with my infrequent mtg attendance.
- move to new city
- don't go to meetings anymore

Hmm... I think I'll have to come up with the things to tell my parents as i go along. Something like "I just feel that I can't get any better in my current situation. I need to move."
Only problem is my dad has "mother hen" syndrome(or whatever its called) and wants all his children nearby/ in the house. If I'm not a witness then I'm sure he wouldn't have the same sentiment towards me. He'd be less worried because I'd have already lost my "spirituality."
w/e though... I'll figure things out eventually... I just don't want any lingering questions in anyone's head when everything is done.
thanks for the input ^-^