Hi Alovejones,

I served as an elder for several years, but not nearly as long as your dad. Depending on the relationship you have with your dad, it can be an advantage to have a father who is an elder in cases such as this. Having children in subjection is of course a requirement to serve (1 Tim 3:12). However if you are an only child or have siblings who remain JWs or you have reached an age of adulthood likely your father can continue to serve even if one of his children leaves the faith.  My point is your dad can be an advocate for fair treatment of your case on the elder body.

The good news is life outside the faith is not at all horrible. Just like now, you still find you have a life to live, things to do, like school or work. The only real differences is the 10 to 20 hours you dedicate to the faith each week become available for other pursuits. One of the most wonderful things is having non-judgemental conversations with ordinary people outside the faith. For the first time you can really listen to someone talk about their beliefs and ideas while not constantly thinking how you can "witness" to the individual, or thinking how off-course they are.

Seeing people you love treat you badly (and you can almost be guaranteed it will happen) is the most difficult thing. I find it helps a great deal to remind oneself the faith itself limits what views a person can entertain.

When I left the faith I came back to two meetings in response to shepherding calls that were made. In the last meeting The Watcthower study was entirely about helping those who have left to return. The author of the material highlighted Matthew 18:12-14 regarding 99 sheep that remain vs 1 that strayed. Many at the meeting that day must have thought what an incredible Watchtower to be considered that day -- the day I was in attendance.

Had I talked to any of them about it, they would have been very surprised how I viewed the material. I found it rather condescending and trite. There are valid reasons to leave, and it takes a great deal of bravery to do so. I had not "strayed" because I had succumbed to wrongdoing, or became materialistic, or suddenly lost my humility. I left for honourable reasons involving a commitment to truth and honesty that frankly is lacking in many areas of belief of Jehovah's Witnesses. I left in defence of my children, one of whom had become the subject of unjustified, even non-theocratic attack. The author of The Watchtower did not give even the slightest hint of the sobering fact many, many people leave this faith not because they're stumbled or spiritually weak etc, but because they honestly no longer believe it is the "truth". Since so many write exit letters directly explaining their reasons it is inexcusable for the Watchtower to never acknowledge such.

You do deserve to make your own decisions. Of course it goes without saying decisions have consequences.

Cheers,
-Randy

Last Edited By: rawe Feb 4 10 2:53 PM. Edited 1 times.