well, I really feel like I've been posting waaaaay too much, but I really do need advice from people who have already been in my situation. 

I've missed a bunch of meetings. My father kind of made me go to my meeting by accompanying me tonight. At first, I was feeling good. I had such a defiant attitude. I wanted an elder to come up to me and "ask" me to do something so I could finally say no.
Unfortunately, my resolve crumbled and when a newly appointed elder asked to "meet" with me tomorrow. I think it's supposed to be about territory. He organizes them. I got one in October and haven't updated him on it or returned his call(mainly because I didn't do any of it). this meeting could be a "feeler" to see where I am spiritually and it could be a setup with some other elders or it could just be him checking up on me. Either way, I don't care and don't want to go. I don't know if I should call and be phony and say "sorry I can't make it " Or if I should just stand him up. Or maybe come with my letter of membership revoking. Or just go to the little meeting and see what happens.
It'd be all fine and dandy if I were ready to move out. But I'm not.
I dunno what to doooo T-T