I wanted to ask anyone out there who is an ex JW if they have any advice on retrieving your self esteem or do you have any special coping skills. I spent so much time trying to be the best little Witness I could, pioneering whenever I could, studying (UGH) with my kids without any help from their father, keeping them well pressed and dressed and away from other kids.....and I hated it even when I was doing it....I had no time for me, no time to find out who I was and what I REALLY believed, no time to be a person. After I left, I had no idea what to do next. I made a lot of what some people might call "mistakes" but I call growing up experiences. The problem is I have never talked with anyone except my kids about it all and wonder if anyone has any advice I can use on my journey. I finally came to the conclusion not too long ago that God doesn't hate me...only the jw's do but I am still rather dazed by the whole waste of my life and I feel so guilty for putting my kids through it even while I privately hated doing so....help!