Ahh Existenz ... you're in the wars sweetie but you can get out of them too. Rather than follow your daughter's misguided path (bearing in mind she's been indoctrinated to follow the shunning thing) ... you'd be better off sanity wise ... to speak softly, calmly and firmly to her. You need to tell her that you're tired of the irregular visits and that you accept she's following a different religious path in life to you ... and that perhaps it's time she accepts your choice in life. Let her know that you love her just as you always have and that you love her little ones too ... and that she's always welcome to visit if she's in town ... but that you no longer wish to be used like a yoyo in the middle of her up and down moods. If you don't tell her outright ... she may not take the hint.

JWs are NOT very good with hints are they! Something about their programming I think. They need to be told rather than hinted at. You know yourself how dictating the religion can be. Everything that's not written down is preached directly from the platform ... it's not like JWs are good at thinking for themselves and processing normal life situations.

You don't need to get into a big fight over her religion and I know how hard that can be to avoid as I'm a grown adult daughter with a loopy JW mum and just like you ... I also know how riled up they can make us! I've had conversations with my mum of late when I've literally got up and walked out of her house. The hard part for me is that my non-JW sister, bro, his wife and their 7yr old all live in the same house ... so I feel like I'm walking out on them too! Stupid religion isn't it!

Anyway Existenz ... you know your OCD plays up when you're upset and even though you love your daughter unconditionally ... she's not returning the favour. It's nothing personal and even though it seems to be personal and it hurts immensely ... it's just how she's been programmed to think over the years. I dare say if you were to ask her how she'd feel if one of her OWN children were to do that to her ... she'd not be as blinded. Or at least you'd hope not.

You have more courage than you realise and maybe now is the time to stand up for yourself and be heard. You're her mum and even though she doesn't have to agree with your lifestyle either ... she should be old enough and mature enough now to realise that not everyone is as entangled with her religion as she is. Even if you don't say anything to her ... at least you know in your heart that what she's doing is NOT right and it's not how you raised her to be. We can only do so much with our kids. Let her know that you're not going to be part of her game. If she wants to see you or ring you ... she knows where to find you. If she doesn't choose to take you up on the offer ... then it's not YOU shunning her ... it's the other way round.

My mum isn't happy with me either because I'm quite vocal about my dislike of all things JW-related and she feels I'm dragging the rest of the family down my path and lifestyle choice. To me it's just a sign that the JW grip is tightening. Don't let the emotional blackmail take over ... take the reins back and be yourself! You'll get there when the time is right for you! Have faith in yourself for a change eh ... and make sure you don't let your OCD take over again either. You're not alone