I had no time for me, no time to find out who I was and what I REALLY believed, no time to be a person.
Ditto to that Dazed.........infact, ditto to all of your last post!!  We are roughly the same age - so I totally understand how you feel.........(although as Andria pointed out, we ARE spring chickens lol)

Like you, I was also a people pleaser - a 'good girl' - a 'good daughter' - a 'good pioneer'........yes I was unhappy deep down, but at least I had the 'rules' of the religion to live by........my life was mapped out for me........and suddenly being out in 'the world' seems a very scary place to be!!

I can still remember as a small child, when 'worldly' relatives would ask "what do you want to be when you grow up'.........I was well trained to answer "a pioneer serving Jehovah in these last days"........yep, thats some ambition for a kid  

I must admit that for me, finding this site has done so much to rebuild my self-esteem!! 

Reading and communicating with others who have been through the same has made me acknowledge that rather than 'leaving a religion' - I actually 'escaped' from a damaging society that rules through fear and mind-control......it is a positive thing that I can be proud of..

I still sometimes get angry at the wasted years, but any time that we gain our freedom is something to celebrate......and although my life may be totally different to how it could have mapped out without the JW's heavy influence - at least it is now MY life - and the freedom is just as wonderful and smells just as sweet at any age :-)

Hope you enjoy your time here
Sam xx