That is, without a doubt, a very bad place to be in. I feel so much compassion for you. What everyone has said is all too true. You will have to be very careful about what you say and how much you say to your wife, lest you scare her off of hearing anything you say about her religion.

One thing I would like to point out, and not to alarm you, but to inform you about how quick a 3 year old can pick up things they are taught and how fast they can be indoctrinated, I have a short story that was told to me by another ex-jw. He was out in service one day with a group of women and a 3 year old girl. Two women went to a door and came back after having the riot act read to them by the householder. After recounting their bad experience with that person, the 3 year old piped up and said "That's ok, Jehovah is going to destroy them." She said this with a big smile on her face and then the women laughed and they all chuckled at the thought of blood, gore, death, and destruction. My friend was a pioneer at the time but was still disgusted by how this little baby was being taught to view anyone who wasn't a JW.

Such arrogance and self-righteousness for one so young. Of course, it wasn't her fault. She was only repeating what she had, no doubt, heard over and over. I wonder if it wouldn't be possible that if you ever hear your 3 year old speaking in this way to simply correct her and tell her that it's not nice to talk like that about anyone. Treat the situation like any parent would if their child were talking in a mean way about someone. She may even take the correction to the kingdom hall with her and put a few adults in their place there. lol I'd pay money to see that! IDK, just my thoughts. I'm so sorry that you are in such a tough spot. I do not envy you at all. Hope you come on and let us know how things are going or to ask questions about issues you may be having. Oh, and welcome! Michele