Tim, welcome to the forum and a big thank you for your story and your service to your county. As others already mentioned, you have come to the right place. Leaving the JW can pull one thru a wide range of emotions and feelings and it takes time to sort it all out. It is great you have your wife and have found us here as no one can really understand all the crap of growing up and leaving the JWs unless they have gone thru it themselves. You have made a great step forward and you will find now that you have reclaimed your life everyday will get better and better. Nothing beats making your own decisons, free from the guilt ad control of the WTS. Again, best wishes and hope to hear more from you in the future. Chas