Great example about a parent watching their kid get beat up.  These are great points but I think I'm still "on hold" as far as what I believe now.  I almost feel like my brain can't work until my current situation is finalized, as weird as that sounds.  While I'm still going to meetings and putting on the pretense, I keep putting off figuring out what I believe in because it takes so much effort to fake my interest in things as it is. 

But I will say, it's very difficult for me to know the organization is false and still have full faith there is a God.  I'm just not 100% there yet.  I was talking about this with my wife the other day - that maybe it's because we grow up thinking The Organization = God.