Hey wondering!

I know the dilemma you are facing.  I didn't come on this site until I had been "gone" for about 2 years.  Even then, it was very difficult.  I cannot imagine still going and trying to figure it all out and at the same time coming here and hearing all of us rant and make fun and joke and dissect all the teachings.  I am sorry if we are too irreverent sometimes!

As a fourth generation witness, believe me when I say I truly understand how difficult this process is.  It still hasn't ended for me yet.  I am still re-evaluating everything I ever thought I knew and believed.  I don't know what I think about god.  You may notice I don't capitalize the word "god."  I'm pretty mad at him, if he's there.  And it's all tied up with the org., too.

Take your time and keep researching my friend.

Valerie