jwwondering wrote:
Great example about a parent watching their kid get beat up.  These are great points but I think I'm still "on hold" as far as what I believe now.  I almost feel like my brain can't work until my current situation is finalized, as weird as that sounds.  While I'm still going to meetings and putting on the pretense, I keep putting off figuring out what I believe in because it takes so much effort to fake my interest in things as it is. 

But I will say, it's very difficult for me to know the organization is false and still have full faith there is a God.  I'm just not 100% there yet.  I was talking about this with my wife the other day - that maybe it's because we grow up thinking The Organization = God.

Wondering ... you just need some more time and there's certainly no rush for you to come up with conclusions of any kind just yet!   You and the lovely Droplet have your entire lives to work on what feels right to you ... or not as the case may be.

There is truth in your 'maybe it's because we grow up thinking the organisation = god' comment.    It's certainly what I was trained to believe when I was growing up a-la-jw-style!