Hi Wizkid93,

Welcome to the forum. Our 17-year-old will be leaving in the fall (she'll be 18 then) to attend a college clear across the country. We're excited for her, but also feel a bit sad about it -- it is hard for parents to see their children leave home. It is especially hard when a religion like Jehovah's Witnesses are in the middle of things.

What are your parents like? For this post I will assume they love you and are otherwise supportive. Being typical Witnesses they are hoping you'll now step forward and make the truth your own. How in the world do you tell them different? This is not easy! Even as adults that left the faith we all found it a challenge to come up with just the right formula to break the news we were leaving the faith. And I would add, while glad that we did, we have not always been please with the outcome and perhaps wondered if we could have done things better.

Sad to report, other than a 100% engagement with the faith no other choice is considered a good choice.

Unless you need to avoid certain clear dangers I always recommend being as honest and truthful as possible. By this I do not mean to imply one should reveal every private matter. In particular religious leaders, such as elders, do not have a right to know private details regarding your life. If you share such information do so because you want to, not because you're coerced. If you think through patterns your parents display you may be able to pick a good time. Some people really are in a better frame of mind in the morning or evening. Some get more stressed at the end of a pay cycle, then just after getting paid.

Being in a quiet, yet public place, can help. When my daughter told me she had been secretly dating for her last school year, we were out at a restaurant. I was relaxed and able to take in the information better. I also remained calm. Later on, yes, I did express some frustration, and so did her mother, who had previously asked some direct questions. Fortunately for us, this all happened shortly after we left the faith.

Although I would not recommend bringing it up or going down a long path of religious arguments, I would recommend you look up education on the WT Library. Especially in recent years, both Awake! and The Watchtower authors have been careful not to condemn post-secondary education in the strongest terms. They are well aware they've been criticized on this score. Does the leadership want young Witnesses to limit post-secondary education, especially in areas of philosophy, biology, archeology and comparative religion? Absolutely! But they also know stable long time Witnesses who support the faith usually have some marketable skill beyond 12th grade. Thus they'll emphasize specialize training in trades, etc.

The world outside the faith is a better and more real world. But it is not perfect either. You'll make friends and some will let you down. You'll run into people with odd believes and claims that really need to be rejected. But your life will be your own. You will not simply be a servant in the interest of religious leaders with their own agenda. Do take care.

Cheers,
-Randy