Hi there Peggy and welcome How awful for that friend of your son's to have to live with such strict parents. Your son and his mate did a great job of hiding from you though ... that must have been quite a revelation when it all came out in to the open!

Great topic Molly ...

I left when I was a few months shy of my 19th birthday ... so I'm in the 'teens leaving' category. I didn't leave because I wanted what was out 'in the world' ... I left because I didn't believe in the religion my parents chose for me and didn't want to continue living a lie or being a hypocrite. I had already left school and was working prior to my walking out ... and even though I wasn't baptised and therefore wasn't disfellowshipped either ..... the usual shunning thing seemed to apply to me.
There certainly wasn't a bunch of people trying to sweet talk me into going back. I mustn't have been worth the effort

I didn't have the added help of the internet either but I'm really pleased that it is available to so many ... specially given that so many people want out of that religion and don't know which way to turn. The problem is that from birth many of us were raised to believe there was no other lifestyle. That all non-believers were out to tempt us, to lure us into Satan's arms etc etc etc. The fear was crippling and not having support from others made it very hard for those who left ... to stay away. I can see why so many ended up going back ... it was easier than toughing it out and easier than losing your family.

Nowadays it must be harder for the hierarchy of the religion to keep younger ones in. It's why they keep on harping about how dangerous the internet is ... and it's not because they're going to be lured to their untimely deaths, it's because they'll be able to research for themselves that there IS life beyond the jdub limitations! And it's not all bad either!

It's why the shunning thing is bigger than it once was ... and it's why so many families resort to emotional blackmail in order to keep their 'wayward' children in line or to get them back into the fold.    Kids of today are far from stupid.    It's just sad that the kids from years ago didn't have the same access to information and a world-wide network of people who instinctively know where they were coming from.

"Thanks to God .... for making me an Atheist!"
Ricky Gervais
Golden Globe Awards - 2011