Hi and welcome Nick,

All I can say is I was exactly in the spot you are in now in the late 90's and I wish I would have received all this info and had this forum.  I met a guy at work who was a JW...........etc etc.  We could only be together if I was spiritual..............we could only be together if we had the same set of beliefs.......................we could only be together if I showed some interest in the JWs.................we could only be together if I believed the JW's were right........and slowly this would go on and on taking me a step further and further.  Well even though I told my family it wouldn't happen, I eventually was converted.  They work on you bit by bit until you are in.  It's pretty sneaky how it all goes down.  Of course I loved the guy so I was willing to do this or do that.  Well when you added up all the THIS and THAT, it amounted to a hell of a lot.  Funny thing is I never realized I was constantly making concessions to meet him on his ground but I never saw him do the same for me (OH but that's because the JWs are 100% right on everything and everyone else is 100% wrong on everything).  It set terrible precedent for our marriage and he had complete power and control.  I turned my back on my family because they tried warning me but he and the JWs convinced me that my family didn't have a hot clue and I shouldn't listen to them.  I lived in a total hell for 12 years after I got baptized because once you are in and see it for what it's worth and then to late, you are afraid to leave because of the harrassment and hatred that would follow if you left.

I left and I had to rebuild my life, luckily I had the support of family who patiently waited for me all these years.  They said that during my time with the witnesses I became a shell of a person, lost my personality and seemed depressed all the time (they were right).  Now my family (extended too, even 3rd cousins saw the change in me) tells me they don't remember the last time the saw me so happy and that it's nice to have me back.

I never thought it could happen to me.  If you want to constantly feel like you aren't doing enough or are never good enough, persue the girl.  I am sure she is a really lovely girl, many JWs are.  Their religion twists things beyond belief and uses terrible tactics that even though she could be a great girl, she will be conditioned to use these tactics without even being aware of it.  They don't know that the rest of society doesn't operate that way.  And as I said it creeps into your life so slowly that you don't realize they've broken you down until a great deal of damage has been done.

Sorry man, that's how it is.