Hi dubstep, welcome to this place of free expression. not all of us are officially out, some of us have faded so that we can maintain some contact with family. This may be an option for you and your wife as she would miss her family. She may, if she see the real truth find this easier to deal with. Also as many have pointed out on here, you don't have to use their rules, so no need to write in unless you really want to. 

Good on you for trying to help your wife, be discerning and go at her pace. I have seen a wife help her husband to discern the real truth in my own family, so it is possible. The key is how much you love and respect each other I think. You seem to be doing a good job with that. I too had my eyes opened by checking things a family member had said, I think questioning rather than telling is good. 

I wish you all the best in your endeavours to help your wife.