Welcome!

I’m not sure on the exact nature of your religious background, but considering how you describe it truly seems you are living in a cult. I hope you can carefully get out of your situation in a manner in which you and any loves ones are not too much affected. It is never easy getting out of fundamental religious faiths, and I think everyone in here can sympathize with your situation. Perhaps visiting cyber cafes or libraries to access the internet would be safer for you? Hope everything works out!