wingnut wrote:
Probably some of the problem can be attributed to my personality which I know can sometimes rub people the wrong way but I think there's more to it.  For example I don't really care much for birthdays and holidays and hold back from really enjoying them.  I'm not religious and have no desire to replace what I had in the JW's with some other faith that I spent 25 years disliking.  I'm outspoken about religion in politics and for example my views about Michelle Bachmann and other religious fanatics running for office has angered a lot of people.  Just because I don't like the GOP candidates doesn't mean (as they automatically assume) I'm for Obama....Of course politics in general turn me off and I catch myself thinking Witness like thoughts about the futility of the whole thing.  I really don't even care to vote, it just feels like a waste of time.  I'm a veteran and was in the service for four years before becoming a JW so I have an odd mix of contradictory life experiences.  I remember that some of the Witnesses didn't like my status as a veteran but that's another story.

It's really hard to change after 25 years in the org, even after over a dozen years on the outside.  I'd like to deny that I'm still affected but it never really goes away and even though I no longer consciously think like a Witness there is that little bit of influence that keeps coming to the forefront....I'm sure that there are some exceptions but everyone's circumstances are different so I don't think there's a right or wrong or that I'm even looking for anything to change.  Just some random thoughts on a rather sh*tty day.   smiley: tired
I totally hear ya...totally.  All the things you said about holidays and politics; I feel the same way. 
For some of us, we never really "get over" it.  I liken it to PTSD.  Everyone handles experiences differently.  I have a friend (inactive) who grew up a JW, didn't get an education, pioneered right out of high school, married young and had her first baby at 21 (19 years ago).  She stayed married to a JW guy who beat the hell out of her and the only reason he got arrested is because my parents called the cops for her (she was too scared to call them herself for fear he would kill her, which he had tried to do).  Anyway, she divorced her husband (no adultery, so she was told her divorce was unscriptural and couldn't remarry) and is now married to a man she adores (non JW), but can't seem to get on with her thinking that she's a horrible person for marrying a non-JW and not going back to meetings (the elders told her that perhaps she should work on the way she talked to her husband and not leave him, despite the fact that he was beating and strangling her).  When she's out and about in town, JWs will ignore her and not talk to her--and all she did was leave the man who beat and tried to kill her and found love with a non-JW man.  She can't go back to the meetings and face the men who told her to stay in an abusive relationship, especially since she's being shunned for remarrying outside of the faith. 
I don't think some ever really get over it, but at least we are not alone.