" How do we now REACH our loved ones who are still trapped? .."

In many instances you don't.

Your J.W family will just 'ball & chain' you emotionally and craving any kind of validation or positive affirmation for your post-J.W existence is a waste of energy.

When it comes to 'reaching' our J.W family...we do well to ask ourselves whether we attempt this with a view to giving them something from inside of ourselves or whether we do this with a view to encouraging them to give US something from inside of themselves...

ERGO:

" If I could only straighten your J.W head out, you might eventually be able to love~appreciate~admire~respect~accept~recognise me for who/what I really am.."

This is just bargaining, and it's bargaining for something that nobody should ever have to bargain FOR...from their fleshly family members.

There is a direct correlation between contentment and not 'craving' the thing that you're not actually being offered anyway...

In some cases a J.W family member leaves the throng of their own accord and then begins to re-evaluate the kind of relationship they want with a family member who perhaps left many, many years before they did...

Perhaps the recently exited J.W suddenly feels as though they NOW have love~appreciation~admiration~respect~acceptance~recognition to offer, and perhaps the long-standing ex-J.W...[understandably]...tells them that they can shove it.

Why?

What's happened?

Quite simply, the long-standing ex-J.W has adapted emotionally and has successfully learned how to live without that person's 'good opinion' to the point where it's belated offer has very little value.

This is a rather painful 'lesson' for the recently exited J.W, and it's one they have to endure along with all of the other painful aspects of their J.W life.

Their 'good opinion' no longer has any currency in the real world...

Egged on by their religious ideals, they've withheld their good opinion from those to whom it should have been offered liberally...and they've used their 'good opinion' as underhanded leverage for soooo long that it's no longer worth a carrot to the person they're finally offering it to...

The long-standing ex-J.W [perhaps] says:

" Once upon a time...I really, really wanted...or actually craved what you're now offering me....but there was none of it to be had....and now you want me to hang the flags out because you've decided that you want a 'proper' relationship...rather than one based on all of that pseudo-religious-bullshit that you used to try and devalue me with and make me feel like a worthless piece of shit..."

MY POINT [S]

  • You don't 'help' your Jehovah's Witness family members by doing their bargaining for them.

  • You don't even help them by doing this should they leave the faith....so you sure as hell don't help them by doing this whilst they're still in it.

If ever they do make it out of the faith, they [invariably] are the ones who will need to re-negotiate the terms of your relationship, and it will not hurt them to realise that their 'leaving' doesn't mean relationships that were once snubbed...[by them]...will automatically be rekindled just because they've suddenly woken up and gotten a whiff of real world coffee...

You don't leave the J.W's to do your worldly family members a big, big favour..

You leave the J.W's to do yourself a big favour, but anybody who doesn't realise this will likely never leave anyway, but if perchance they do...and they still reek of 'attitude'....you won't be doing them any favours by throwing your arms open to them....just because they can now quote 'Crisis Of Conscience' chapter and verse...


Mick smiley: wink





" My way of joking is to tell the truth...It is the funniest joke in the world."


~ George Bernard Shaw ~


Last Edited By: michaelangelo45 Mar 2 12 5:19 PM. Edited 1 times.