Keeping a diary/journal might help. Actually writing down your feelings and experiences has very theraputic effects. Then you could share them with us!

"The more I advance into older age and the more imminent the end of life becomes, the more convinced I am that the most valuable thing any of us can leave behind is a moral legacy, and that the worth of that moral legacy will be determined by the principles for which we have stood, principles that can never be sacrificed or rationalized away in the interests of expediency. Those principles are . . . . . , integrity to truth, and compassionate concern for others, not as part of a favored system, but as individuals."

Raymond Franz 2004