Lack of focus is a GREAT place to start with a therapist.

As for worrying about your journal, it was suggested to me that I begin by writing fiction--short stories about characters (me, of course) who in other places and other times were going through certain of the same problems I had. It worked brilliantly. The insights resulting from the first one, "The Girl Who Would Be A Doll" still impact on my life. You might want to try something like that.

Hus, Cee Cee