Thanks everyone for your comments. The support on here really is so great.
That movie really is very good. Cried like a baby and got my boyfriend to watch it too, to try to give him some more insight to understand it's quite a widespread and common thing with witnesses. I guess its the story we are all so so familiar with here.
I went off for a couple of weeks much needed holiday/ travel trial in the van around the UK. It was pretty great. Real nice to spend proper time with my man, after 6 months hell of being homeless in order to keep my family by not living with my boyfriend and unable to date him if i lived with parents and too poor to afford my own place so been somewhat squatting without anybody knowing in a tiny loft of a shared art studio which is a tin building, so it was great to have a proper base and spend quality time together.
We are now back to finally finish stuff before going abroad. I need to go back to my parents for a week to use my kiln to finish my art for an exhibition in europe but whilsti was away they bumped into someone else who knows about my relationship without knowing that my parents dont, and my dad emailed me specifically to say they had had a good chat with her and he never emails me. Spoke to my mum on the phone and although she seemed to try to be ok and didnt say anything to start with it quickly became apparent she is not ok with stuff and it was very strained and awkward though as usual she did not bring stuff up. I have since thought of several other opportunities in the next couple of months that she will have to speak to people who could easily say 'oh, yeah we heard jane was travelling with her boyfriend'. I am now so scaired to go back I am wandering if i should just NOT go and take the expense and make my work for the exhibition some other way. Just get away now and not give them an entire week to confront me. I figure whilst i am away with the distance the double life can eventually fade to the truth of my life whilst causing as little hurt and as little oportunity for them to dissown me. I dont want to confront them right now with it. I dont want to chance ruining our relationship if it doesnt have to be ruined. Apart from my boyfriend, they are my best friends, then i have my sister and that is all the people in my life at all. So i really dont want to loose them as they are really really fantastic people who i adore if it is not for the brainwashing.