I have enough time now to some at least....

Practically the same thing was a big issue (at certain times at least) for me when I started in AA meetings.

I too found that people had their cliques. And I (for whatever reason) wasn't called on to talk a lot. In looking back, maybe the people leading the meeting had decent intentions. It is too difficult to actually know even what their intentions were, but I probably could have given them more of a benefit of the doubt at the time. It could be that I appeared not to want to talk and since I personally have had bad social anxiety, they were probably right. Maybe if they saw me socializing more or whatever then they would think I wanted to be called on----I never did figure the cause out. But, it doesn't matter because I am happy, free, and sober..... And loving life more than I thought ever possible.

As far as the cliques go---I wouldn't even try to 'control' that. It is natural that those happen whenever groups get together and meet regular. I always did appreciate though the ones who were aware enough to step outside their own familiar surroundings and talk some to a new person or someone that they might see is sitting alone or a person that is unfamiliar to them.

Then again, I could see a person being guilty of this if didn't watch it because it is so easy to just stay with familiar people and surroundings. I think maybe more of a reminder needs to be made to those members but that probably won't happen either too soon....

To AA's credit, I do remember quite a few meetings that when someone new was introduced, they would say that the new person was the most important person in the room. It's just too bad that they can't remember to include newer ones more than just past their first few weeks there. I have no easy answers on that one, but it happens at a whole lot of the meetings all over the world I have a feeling.

Rusty, you know as much as I do that resentment is right at the top of the list of things we gotta try to avoid if at all possible. Nothing good can ever come out of holding resentment against another person.....The most dangerous thing though is it could cause us to lose sobriety. That is the real danger.

There are all kinds of people in this world, and I will agree with Mig that we can't expect too much out of others. If we do that, then we will be let down time and again. I just try not to count on others to act the way I expect them to. Of course, close friends and family is different (or at least hopefully different for most of us).


But its not just AA. Its everything and its always been this way. Im always the square peg in the round hole. Everywhere I go Im the outcast


Yes, I know that feeling too. I think the jws didn't help either, but I did have severe social anxiety since I was about 13 or so and that didn't and doesn't help social stuff at all.

But, anymore I can tell you that I am not angry about it.

Even the one thing that I thought would never be possible to change----my severe anxiety----has improved. Can I give the AA program credit for this? In a direct way, I say the answer is yes. As I continue to do the steps and work on my character defects (of which I had a good share), then everything is improving. And again, I am happy and adjusting to this world we live in and just living happily in my own skin better all the time. I don't mind either talking about my character defects or things that I improved. I had of course good qualities too all along and I try never to forget those.


Ill have 80 days and get my 60daychip. For some reason the piece of plastic is keeping me from screwing up. I want it that bad.




That is the most important thing and I agree one hundred percent with you. You have come too far now my friend to let someone else's behaviour ruin your sobriety (or anything else about your life).
I for one hope to never have to start over at zero days again. I have put too much work into myself and I know you have put a lot of work into yourself too Rusty. Once we get past that initial little bit, then my personal advice is to keep going on the right path no matter what! I got that big jet airliner of sobriety off the ground and that took a lot of work and momentum to break the natural pull of gravity. Now that it is up in the air, it's a lot easier-----a whole lot easier. All I have to do is keep fresh in mind the program and do a little minor maintenence.


Anyhow, that's all I can think of for now. Keep on trucking and don't let anyone slow you down. You're worthy of the best in life, so never think otherwise!



Edited to add:
I wish there was a quick and easy way to get from point A ( the initial point of contact with AA) to point B (living happy, sober, and free) but I am not aware of one. The only way I know of is to just not focus too much on the future or the past. A person just has to do the 24 hour thing and work the program the best way they know how. Before long, you will see the awesome results. But, some patience & work is required......



Last Edited By: Ronnie45 Apr 21 08 1:14 PM. Edited 1 times.