I will just tell you that it takes time. One of the first things I did after I left was exchanging one form of control for another. I was so used to being under the control of something that I joined a church that was very controling. Fortunately, I started reading my bible. I stopped going to church and just read my bible...no adds or commentaries, just the bible. From that I developed a relationship with God. Not a church or an organization, a relationship with God. I know that the things that people do today in his name most often have nothing to do with him. Every person has to find that for themselves and every persons journey is different.