Addiction to me is the coping mechanism for us that weren't wired right to face the day. Perhaps we are too sensative and alcohol and drugs numb us to that. OR we saw horrible things. Or we have a mental imbalance. Drug and alcohol addiction isn't about fun or having fun it is about the lesser of all evils. Being clean just doesn't work for a person like that. You would tather be dead than have to face the world clean. Anxiety and panic are common place. For a non addict it is hard to quantify. We need something though us drunks and addicts. We need something to help us stay sober because it is a long hard road that goes on forever. It surely gets better though, but those demons are always present.

Rusty keep your head up. Keep staying sober it is better. You know there is no fun left in drinking or you wouldn't have hung up your drinking glass to begin with. It isn't easy and it isn't fair but is reality. You need self esteem all of us AA's do and the best way to do it is by doing esteemable things.

And even if Jehovah witness, bet he'll never testify, D'Evils...
- Jay-Z