Recently I met an old friend, a former Elder in the first congregation I went to and he convinced me to go back to meets (after 12 years away). Suffice to say
I did and after 3 weeks decided I couldn't attend any longer. I had hoped the WTS had changed by now and that there wouldn't be so much pressure to
conform to the Witness Mentality. Boy was I in for a shock! Needless to say I phoned my friend and let him know that I would no longer be attending meetings
due to conscientious objections over the Society's refusal the change certain policies, even though scriptural evidence had been sent forth. I realized it
was all about Organizational Unity and NOT about Scriptural Truths. This former Elder "friend" turned on me like a rabid dog and told me I would
never succeed outside of the Organization (even though he himself has misgivings about it) and that whatever I put my hand to was doomed to failure.
Suffice to say that hasn't always been the case. I contacted another Brother who left and we've had many good conversations about the WTS and have become better friends, although he keeps me at a distance (I feel because of my also being an ex). This saddens me and I find myself depressed.
I have taken to reading the Bible again, most recently the Book of Romans and have found comfort there, especially the parts about God's mercy.
When I first left it was because I wasn't sure JW's had the "Truth". Now I am convinced that no one has it. Paul stated "we have partial knowledge and thereby we prophesy partially", so this leads me to believe that it's okay to not have all the answers and that it would be the case anyhow. Anyone who claims otherwise is deceiving themselves.
I feel like a ship without a sail, just drifting around a big ocean with no land in sight and truthfully I'm not sure I would make an effort to get to "land" if I saw any. I mistrust churches so much nowadays. Getting past all the JW restrictions I placed upon myself has been hard. I want a fulfilling life but I am at a loss about how to go about getting it. Still afraid at making the "wrong choice" and so I find myself making no choice at all.
Hence my screen name of "Solace".
Suffice to say that hasn't always been the case. I contacted another Brother who left and we've had many good conversations about the WTS and have become better friends, although he keeps me at a distance (I feel because of my also being an ex). This saddens me and I find myself depressed.
I have taken to reading the Bible again, most recently the Book of Romans and have found comfort there, especially the parts about God's mercy.
When I first left it was because I wasn't sure JW's had the "Truth". Now I am convinced that no one has it. Paul stated "we have partial knowledge and thereby we prophesy partially", so this leads me to believe that it's okay to not have all the answers and that it would be the case anyhow. Anyone who claims otherwise is deceiving themselves.
I feel like a ship without a sail, just drifting around a big ocean with no land in sight and truthfully I'm not sure I would make an effort to get to "land" if I saw any. I mistrust churches so much nowadays. Getting past all the JW restrictions I placed upon myself has been hard. I want a fulfilling life but I am at a loss about how to go about getting it. Still afraid at making the "wrong choice" and so I find myself making no choice at all.
Hence my screen name of "Solace".
