Hello all. Very few of you might remember me. Obviously I have never been a frequent poster, but I lurk every now and then.
To catch everyone up.... I was raised as a JW. Baptized around 14ish. Pioneered as a teen. Pretty much always led a double life. Finally got caught by my parents when I was 19 and I left home. They disfellowshipped me without a committee meeting. Both of my parents (now divorced) and 1 of my 2 brothers have also now left. (Yay!) The remaining brother is your typical "I go to meetings, claim to be a JW, but do pretty much whatever I want" type of JW. He gets all bent out of shape if anyone badmouths the religion, blah blah blah. He's a hypocrite, but I think most of them are.
Anyway...
Last night, my brother (the one that has also been disfellowshipped) and I were talking about how we were raised. I really feel like I am "past" most of my hangups that I first had after leaving the organization. I don't have anger anymore. The JWs pretty much just make me roll my eyes.
However, we started discussing how he and I really have no solid foundation or
base when we try to evaluate the people who we are today. ( I don't know if that even makes sense.) Most people have similar values/morals/whatever based
on how they were raised. I don't have that. I feel like my entire childhood and the "values" or rules my parents raised me with were, for the
most part, crap. Now that I have a 4 year old son and 10 year old stepdaughter, I really struggle with trying to be a stable and good parent. I cannot look
back and compare and ask myself, "How would my parents have handled that?" I feel as if those important or "learning" parts of my life
were all a sham. I've basically had to make myself a whole new person. I'll be 36 next month and I think for the most part, I've figured it out
on my own, but the parenting thing is tough at times. Am I being too strict? Am I being too lenient? Maybe these are questions that all parents have. I
don't know.
Rambling....
I guess, for the first time in a few years, I feel a bit pissy about it all. Cheated maybe. I wish that I could have had a normal childhood.
Thanks for listening. If this makes no sense, I apologize.
Maybe
someone can relate to what I'm trying to say.
To catch everyone up.... I was raised as a JW. Baptized around 14ish. Pioneered as a teen. Pretty much always led a double life. Finally got caught by my parents when I was 19 and I left home. They disfellowshipped me without a committee meeting. Both of my parents (now divorced) and 1 of my 2 brothers have also now left. (Yay!) The remaining brother is your typical "I go to meetings, claim to be a JW, but do pretty much whatever I want" type of JW. He gets all bent out of shape if anyone badmouths the religion, blah blah blah. He's a hypocrite, but I think most of them are.
Anyway...
Last night, my brother (the one that has also been disfellowshipped) and I were talking about how we were raised. I really feel like I am "past" most of my hangups that I first had after leaving the organization. I don't have anger anymore. The JWs pretty much just make me roll my eyes.
However, we started discussing how he and I really have no solid foundation or
base when we try to evaluate the people who we are today. ( I don't know if that even makes sense.) Most people have similar values/morals/whatever based
on how they were raised. I don't have that. I feel like my entire childhood and the "values" or rules my parents raised me with were, for the
most part, crap. Now that I have a 4 year old son and 10 year old stepdaughter, I really struggle with trying to be a stable and good parent. I cannot look
back and compare and ask myself, "How would my parents have handled that?" I feel as if those important or "learning" parts of my life
were all a sham. I've basically had to make myself a whole new person. I'll be 36 next month and I think for the most part, I've figured it out
on my own, but the parenting thing is tough at times. Am I being too strict? Am I being too lenient? Maybe these are questions that all parents have. I
don't know.
Rambling....
I guess, for the first time in a few years, I feel a bit pissy about it all. Cheated maybe. I wish that I could have had a normal childhood.
Thanks for listening. If this makes no sense, I apologize.
Maybe
someone can relate to what I'm trying to say.
