Wow, am i going crazy?!

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Mr Wiggles	Wow, am i going crazy?!	Lead	[-]
Gold Level Member Posts: 87 (06/19/09 10:51:34) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	So today is day 1 of the DC here in Calgary. I haven't been to a DC in forever, but reading some stuff online, as i take breaks from working, and thinking a bit of doctrines, my family, etc. i've been getting this crazy surges of anger through my body. The likes of which i haven't felt in a long time. Just anger, letting myself daydream about running into a haughty elder (one in particular) and tearing him a new one. Anger at my parents for refusing to have a normal relationship with me. Anger at the rules and regs. Anger at everything! I am not an angry person, i'm pretty laid back and mild, but i just feel like i'm going to snap if i get just one more guilt-ridden phone call or email. Maybe i can channel this into finally having the balls to tell my family what i actually think of it after being out for some time. I always felt that if i tried to be honest, that i would either explode into a rage, or implode into tears. Good lord, i must sound unstable right now. Writing helps, i already feel calmer. - Elias
superpunk		#1	[-]
MVP (Most Valuable Poster) Posts: 383 (06/19/09 11:55:07) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I have found that honesty is extremely cathartic. So is hitting shit. I think to fully move on with my life as an Ex-JW I am going to have to have it out with alot of people. Blaze of mothafuckin' glory, yo. I wish strength for you. My style is impetuous.My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious.I want your heart.I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!
lovebeachgirl		#2	[-]
MVP (Most Valuable Poster) Posts: 146 (06/19/09 12:52:43) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I understand what you are feeling. Does M.M need a new one? lol Writing has been a life saver for me. It helps to get out your emotions so that they aren't getting bottled up and shaken to explode. You can vent lots tonight when we meet up I'm excited to re-meet you. And meet Kathryn.
Mr Wiggles		#3	[-]
Gold Level Member Posts: 91 (06/19/09 13:08:21) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	lovebeachgirl wrote: I understand what you are feeling. Does M.M need a new one? lol Writing has been a life saver for me. It helps to get out your emotions so that they aren't getting bottled up and shaken to explode. You can vent lots tonight when we meet up I'm excited to re-meet you. And meet Kathryn. Tah ha! How did you know it was MM? I'm excited too, this should be fun! - Elias
lovebeachgirl		#4	[-]
MVP (Most Valuable Poster) Posts: 150 (06/19/09 14:35:14) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Oh just a wild guess... lol
freebird		#5	[-]
MVP (Most Valuable Poster) Posts: 582 (06/19/09 18:54:34) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	There was an elder like that also at my hall. My husband and I would say that maybe Satan put him there to try to drive everyone away and that Jehovah allowed him to see if we were faithful enough to stay. Now we realize he was just a pompous jerk and he was in the right place and we weren't.
solitaire		#6	[-]
Posts: 4567 (06/20/09 06:01:11) Co Administrator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Aw you guys are meeting up!!! How exciting is that!!! I understood from some other threads that you used to be in the same cong?? Have a fantastic meet-up, and let us know how it went - plus some pics if you take any...... Hugs Sam xx Sam "Learn from yesterday - live for today - hope for tomorrow"
MyBrainHurts		#7	[-]
MVP (Most Valuable Poster) Posts: 461 (06/25/09 12:38:18) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Yes, I know exactly how you feel as I still get angry about all the time lost and how blind I kept myself. You are not crazy at all. I can't even listen to a kingdom song as it turns my stomach. Just ride it out. It will get better with time.
dbat		#8	[-]
MVP (Most Valuable Poster) Posts: 496 (06/25/09 13:54:05) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Hey mate. I no where your coming from with this issue. I haven't been to bothered about leaving the jw's for a few months now but the past week and knowing a convention is coming has dragged up a lot of negative feeling for me as well. I get the same moments in regards to anger at one particular elder when i think about the org as well. He was a bit of an arse to me when i was growing up. Hang in there buddy .... i'm slowly appreciating that time is the healer in this messed up situation we all seem to be in great having you on the board mate and its nice to know that a few others like yourself are going through this crap at the moment and at the same time dealing with it. be cool mate
Maryann		#9	[-]
Registered Member Posts: 8 (06/25/09 19:28:53) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Thinking of you Elias. It's not fair....what they expect.
gotmyownmind		#10	[-]
Gold Level Member Posts: 21 (06/25/09 19:46:01) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I got an invitation to the DC yesterday. Suddenly I felt nauseas. It's maddening how they refuse to take no for an answer. A few months ago, I was invited to a gathering at one of the "friend's" and within minutes what I thought would be a simple dinner turned out to be approximately 15 people. They are not above using trickery to bait you in. They love to drag the children in because children are easy to persuade and mental-regulate.
AndriaSyxx		#11	[-]
Supreme Member Posts: 6796 (06/27/09 00:12:39) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Hope you're feeling less stressed now Eli. Being honest with your family may not be easy but in the end it's the only way to fly. You'll know what to do when the time is right and in the meantime ... just chill as much as you can buddy. "A loving heart is the truest wisdom" ~~ Charles Dickens ~~
Six		#12	[-]
Gold Level Member Posts: 74 (06/29/09 21:16:55) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Don't channel your anger into violence, no matter what. I hope the rage will subside with time. I don't believe in slaughter and I don't believe in hate I can't believe from paper your way of life you take I can't believe this son of a bitch chooses himself over billions I don't believe he cares about repentance...he won't spare anyone I can't believe that he thinks he is holy and his name we should laud I don't believe in the WTBS and I don't fucking believe in G-O-D.
cosmichippo	Wow	#13	[-]
MVP (Most Valuable Poster)+ Posts: 911 (07/19/09 06:46:39) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I'm going through the same thing lately. My son has been asking questions about the Watchtower (which is good), but it has brought up some raw emotions. Also, my ex-wife has been involved in my life lately and she is going back to meetings. I've been angry because, when we talked about our conversations with the elders while we were separated, we were told different things about each other. It was clear to me before, when I was working with the elders, that the one in charge of our marital problems was more interested in the failure of the marriage than its success. So I get pissed from time to time. Just today I wrote a letter to the body of elders reminding them that she was the one that left and refused to meet. They have been giving her money and helping her around the house. According to them, this is part of the scripture that talks about "widows and orphans." I thought I was so over all of this. Lately I have been incredibly upset over the matters that led to my departure. Hippo A Go-Go
AndriaSyxx		#14	[-]
Supreme Member Posts: 6920 (07/19/09 23:13:29) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	It's never easy to negotiate a marriage breakup whether you're the person who instigated the marriage breakup or not Cosmic ... and it doesn't matter if there's a religious lifestyle attached or not either. It comes down to a whole heap of 'what ifs' and 'could haves' ... and that's where the trouble lays. Sometimes though there's not a cut and dry reason as to why one couple can work through issues and another cannot ... regardless of what counselling they've endured or how much money they've wasted on lawyers etc. I know from my own past experience that there are some events in my life that I have had no way of controlling and no way of sorting ... and even though it took me a while and a few hiccups here and there ... I've finally decided I cannot explain or work out every single life event even though I'd really like to. Moving onwards and upwards is not easy ... but it's not impossible either. It's the unresolved issues that create the dramas down the track ... and you're obviously facing a few of them right now. Take each day as it comes ... take a deep breath ... and work on one thing at a time mate. Hope you and Eli are feeling less stressed and upset today "A loving heart is the truest wisdom" ~~ Charles Dickens ~~

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Wow, am i going crazy?!

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