Sigh....I'm just have a really down day today. As I sit here scanning the several new threads on this forum today, I just got this sick feeling inside. I'm just SO done talking about the Jw's. Sooooo done with it. I just cannot find anymore words to describe just how horrible, messed up, disgusting, unloving, pathetic, evil, and caniving these people are. Here's the thing though....I'm not an evil kind of person. I normally try to find the good in all situations and people. And I do think I've managed to find forgiveness for the jw's. I actually pitty them. They are so misguided and so mind controlled, it is truly sad. But.....I just cannot keep rehashing over and over again just how deeply hypocritical and haughty they are. Does that make any sense. I don't know...I just feel very down and drained lately when I even "think" about the Jw's. I'm so done with them, talking about them, thinking about them, researching them.....just SOOOO done.
And it's for that reason that I say, "I'm so sick of my life". It seems it has been a whirlwind of drama drama drama this past 6 months. From family , to friends, to dealing with the jw's, it's has just taken over my life. I feel almost obsessed by researching all the horribly shocking shit they are capable of saying and doing. It's like watching a huge train wreck....you just cannot help but watch it! That's how it feels at the moment with talking about and researching the jw's. It's almost like , "geeze, can they get any worse??" ....and then suddenly I stumble upon something that says, "YES! They can get alot worse!". And so I get all into going online and badmouthing them and researching more dirt on them, and eventually it just becomes draining emotionally. I feel like I want to cut them out of my life in every way possible. Cleanse my life of all this drama and be happy once again. Even my husband cannot deal with hearing anymore about them. He's so disgusted by it all.
I think I need to start balancing my involvement with "jw talk" with my new "normal" life. I do not want the rest of my new life to be devoted and become obsessed with jw shit. I cut that religion out of my life for a reason and now it seems they have never left me since they are in my thoughts and conversations on a daily basis. I'm done....just soooooo done.
