I'm really at the end of my rope with the JW's shunning policy! Guess i should explain.. it's been over twenty yrs ago that i was disfellowshipped, yes i did something wrong for which i have repented in my heart over and over again to God personally, but as you all know i presume, THAT's not enough for the holier-than-thou JWs, my daughter included. Well, like i said, it was over twenty yrs ago, which resulted in my getting divorced (no regrets there).. and remarrying, getting divorced again. My ex-husband also left the JWs - did the same, married and divorced a second time.. Both my children (adults now) had been raised JWs as was i, and so my daughter chose to stay with the JWs.. but my son did not. After, the divorce, my daughter wanted to live with her father, and my son (who's younger) followed. Then she didn't like my ex's new wife, and took off with a bunch of JWs for a few mos. and eventually went to live with a nice witness family, and my son came back to live with me and my new husband. At some point, my daughter was about 18, and we started talking again, and i thought she might have finally grown up. But, that was short-lived, because she immediately became influenced by some JWs and started tellling me she couldn't talk to me anymore bla bla bla.... I was upset of course, but understood all the reasons for this, and adjusted myself accordingly. Then a couple of yrs went by, and she decided to get married, but of course we couldn't go to her wedding, her own father couldn't walk her down the aisle because he was dfd - instead the father of her girlfriend walked her down the aisle - it was just like a slap in the face ! To give us a consolation prize, she came to my house in her wedding gown, so we could take a few pics.. wonderful. Then, as time went by, she had her first child, and all of a sudden we were allowed to go to her place and see the new baby. . at this point i thought, oh maybe there's hope yet! This lasted about a couple of years, and then the axe fell again ... no, can't talk to you anymore, or maybe only once in a while bla bla bla... again ! This has been going on now for years... (by now she has 3 children, which i might see once a year for about 2-3 hours, if i'm lucky). Back and forth, yo-yo- shunning is what i call it - meanwhilst torturing the h ---- out of me. Fast forward to 2010... now it is happening again, she's supposed to come down for the summer with the kids, to visit the family - but - she can't stay at my house, but will probably stay with friends, or even my son who is not baptized, but incidentally - my ex is now living with my son for health reasons, and so that's ok in her twisted JW mind - she even had my ex there for a week a while ago, because of his illness, so that's ok because he's sick, but her own mother might get the occasional phone call, email etc. but nothing more. She treats me like a criminal, and inside i am screaming - this is toooooo much !! I am her mother, and i've been away from that org. for over twenty yrs, i let her live her own life, and i love my grandkids, but can never get to see them. These people are so sick ... so twisted, and i can't take much more of this. I want to shake her to reality, to get out of her 'fantasy JW world' and see life as it really is, but most of all i want her out of that twisted Cult ! i am truly at my wits end... and am going to have to get some professional help, because my nerves can't take much more of this. Of course, my son is also disgusted with all of it, but he can't do anything about it, nor can anyone.
Also, i lost my mom, the only parent i ever had, seven mos. ago, a JW most of her life, but she never rejected me, she didn't always understand me, but she continued to love me unconditionally. But the last couple of years, she was in a wheelchair, and quite ill, and in the six years that she was there, only one person from her Cong. came to visit her, which made here reevaluate the whole JW org. I know that in the end, she was a JW in name only, and i know that she is now in a better place, and at peace. I miss her terribly.
As for this back and forth shunning, and the constant anguish of will she talk to me, won't she talk to me, is driving me nuts. I love my daughter, but i sure hate what she's doing, and all because of a twisted religion that likes to drive fear into people with their false dogma and heartless policies.
