Had I told my story 10 years ago, the sarcasm I relay it to now would have been replaced with venomous anger and repulsion directed towards the cult, for all the wasted years of avoided potential friends and showing very little concern for school and teachers that all had my best interests at heart (after all, what use is education in this "system of things"...I needed to focus on "meeting attendance" and recruiting more members). Over the past few years though, I have learned to push that anger aside and just let it go, since no good can come of ulcers and sleepless nights. My family still talks to me (due to not being officially DF'd), but with my cousins/uncles/aunts it is clear from the way they converse with me that they have pity for my lifestyle, which again brings up so much irony that I can barely keep from rolling on the floor laughing. When I originally made it clear that I was no longer going to attend cult meetings and wanted nothing more to do with the corporation, almost over night I lost every JW "friend" that I ever had, and even after all these years have never once heard from them (with the exception of one former close "friend" who emailed me shortly after my leave to preach and used the classic line "So, I heard you've gone all apostate"). None of this surprises me, and quite honestly I really could give a sweet monkey's ass about it, since no true friend would ever abandon someone they cared about simply based on a difference of opinion. I have since moved on and over the past 10 years have gained the friendship of people who wanted to know me, not my religious beliefs. In fact, for several of them, I couldn't even tell you what their opinion on "god" is, since it's not a topic I discuss with people who don't bring it up with me.
Nothing in my life story will seem all that surprising or extreme to most, if not all, of you since I'm sure if you belong to this forum, you've gone through the same basic plot. I was never abused in any way as a child, I know my mother did (and still does) the best she knew how to raise me in a way she KNEW would lead to the greatest life possible. In a way however, this part of the story makes things even harder to get over because I don't have anyone specific to throw the blame on. My dad went along with the BS until my parents split and he had no reason to keep pretending, and even the "elders" responsible for indoctrinating my mother and making her believe the most absurd and sometimes evil things are only doing what they believe is the right thing to do. That basically left me with two choices...let it go and get on with my life, or go to Brooklyn, shoot up "Bethel", get life (or death) in an American prison and get raped nightly (I'm not exactly the "prison" type). After a long thoughtful process, I chose A.
Anyways, I've been rambling now ever since the first sentence as there is so much to say in such a small space, but I will leave it to just say I joined this forum as a way to vent (as my wife can't possibly understand what it was actually like) and to possibly put myself out there as someone that anyone can feel free to chat up. Who knows, I may actually have some good advice to give . I hope to read many interesting topics and if anyone has any questions about me, feel free to ask below.