For me, the fact that my mother hasn't spoken to me for almost 3 years makes me feel sad for her. I look upon it as her loss and I counteract that sadness by realizing that I cannot control her but can only live my life with happiness and grace. I also like to regularly tell the people in my life how much I love them and appreciate their presence in my life. When you have lost people who aren't even dead, it makes you see how important all the people you still have in your life are and it feels good to tell them. I have found that as time has passed, I have stopped grieving my loss and really started to appreciate and celebrate what I do have in my life.
Of course, we are all at different stages of the healing process and wherever you are in that process, just know that it's ok and that with time and understanding, you can heal from the hurt of shunning. It's perfectly normal to feel sadness, anger, and total bewilderment at this unkind and unloving treatment. It's designed to bring on those feelings, isn't it? They want us to feel all those things with an added layer of shame and guilt to drive us back to the kingdom hall. But expecting and understanding the emotions that come along with shunning and putting actions in place to counteract them will help us never be dragged into the shame and guilt and consider going back to that hot mess that is the JW cult.
So, anyone have any counter-shunning techniques to share? Sometimes the most simple and practical things are the most powerful. Love and hugs-Michele