Over the years I have visited this site and it has helped me immensely. I thought it was about time I told my story as I am sure it will be therapeutic for me, and if it can in anyway help another - I am all for it!
My story begins with my mother befriending a witness when she was in hospital giving birth to my oldest sister in 1953. My mum and dad became very close with this family even though my parents remained 'non-witnesses' - it wasn't for 'Aunty Ruth' trying on many occassions to convert my parents.
In April of 1957 my brother was born (my parenst third child). In December of that same year when my brother John was just 8 and 1/2 months old, he suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and sadly passed away
It was after this that Aunty Ruth managed to get my mother to listen to the 'truth'. My mother was comforted in learning that John would be ressurected and that she could be with him again in the 'new system'.
Mum was very slow at accepting the truth, and while my father never became a witness, he was respectful, and for the most part appeared to be ok about my mother's involvement with them. I was born 2 years after my brother and was given the middle name 'Ruth' after my mothers wonderful friend.
We still celebrated Christmas and birthdays for a time - I was 7 the last time I was 'allowed' to have a friend over for afternoon tea for my birthday. The last Christmas I remember was at age 4 I think?? Weird I know!
I was indoctrinated by my mother from a very early age - I remember disobeying her by riding a bicycle on the road (I was about 9 at the time), and being given a stern talking to and reminded "You know what happened to Adam and Eve when they disobeyed Jehovah!" Funnily enough, throughout my whole childhood and being reared in the teachings of the society, my mother remained in the sense of the word 'worldly' ?? She continued to smoke for many years and while it would take 51 years to fill in all the details of my upbringing, my mother never had the courage to take the final leap and become a baptised witness until after my father's death in 1990. My mother having had the knowledge of the 'truth' for some 30 plus years! Mum always managed to have a way to 'blame' dad for everything she wasn't able to do in her life - she still does, and the guys been gone for over 20 years! My two older sisters who are very close in age were very strong in the 'truth' and attended meetings regularly. They were baptised at a youngish age - I think around 15/16 ?? They are both in the 'truth' along with my mother to this day.
I tried very hard to accept what I was taught, but so many things I found questionable even when I was quite young. I didn't attend meetings much as a child because for the most part mum didn't go, and while my sisters went (thanks to my dad being their taxi), they didn't take me. I was introduced to many witnesses over the years through my sisters, and at age 16 I became a carer for a friend of theirs in the congregation. Leslie had recently began having seizures and she had a young son Justin, 3, to care for - she couldn't be left alone with him, so in between leaving school and going to college, I would go over daily and stay with her while the rest of the family worked and went to school. One of the sons Ben, ended up being my first boyfriend (much to his mothers disgust) - but that's another story lol.
So, at 16 I became quite involved with the 'truth' now that I had more access to brothers and sisters via this family. I started attending meetings regularly and for a few years was living my life as one. There were still so many things that I never felt comfortable with, but I loved the association and my boyfriend was from a very staunch witness family!
After a few years and breaking up with my 'first love', at about age 19 I was once again off and out into the world. I loved my job and was living the party life - much to my families disgust! My mother still not a fully-fledged witness!
I fell madly in love with a man and ended up having my lovely daughter at age 22 - he was to leave me when she was 10 months old, and due to my circumstances, I had to move back home with her. My mum and dad were "ok" about it, but it didn't last as my mother found it difficult for us to be living there and I then moved in with friends.
Not long after I met my now (worldly) husband of 25 years and we welcomed our son into our family
To cut to the chase - I missed my family and realised that the only way I was going to be accepted, was to once again become involved with the witnesses - and so I did, my hubby came with me! We were both baptised in 1989. He became a ministerial servant some time later. (My husband has also left the truth).
Our children were both raised witnesses of course! My daughter being baptised at age 15 (I wasn't for it but was told that it wasn't my place to discourage her if the elders thought she was spiritually mature). My son became an unbaptised publisher at age 12 - he was never baptised and neither are in the truth any longer. My daughter was disfellowshipped for 'fornication' at age 17 - My spiritual world went down hill rapidly from there.
The elders in my congregation handled things terribley and cracks started showing in SO many things!
I was very good friends with the PO's wife and she started 'sharing' confidential things with me regarding things her husband was dealing with involving the congregation! I was being filled in on his visits regarding pornography being found at brother so-and-so's place and just ALL the 'gossip'!!
There are so many things I cannot go into all the details, but the congregation and it's body of elders were a nightmare!
After a time, I decided I couldn't let this go, as I was truly concerned at what was going on here with the PO's wife and how wrong it was - I decided to seek out an elder I trusted and confided in him what I knew. The next thing I know - I am up before the committee and I had to write lists of what I knew and had quite a few meetings with them. I felt just awful !!- I felt like I'd betrayed my friend, but I had my obligation to Jehovah and the organisation!!
I ended up having a confrontation with my friend (the PO's wife) concerning a different matter, and all hell broke loose - she ended up having a nervous breakdown and ended up in a mental hospital! Her husband and sister both blamed me! This all came about at the same time the elders had found out about the PO.
Within a week or 2, an elder stood on the platform and made an announcement "Brother So-And-So is no longer acting as Presiding Overseer" please don't read anything more into it."....
EVERYONE assumed that it was because his wife was ill!! I had people saying to me "Isn't that terrible about Sue - poor PO having to stand down because she is sick??". I thought WT...? This wasn't because his wife was ill!! this was because he had betrayed you and you and you!! I went to the elders and said "What am I supposed to say to people when they say that to me and I know that's NOT why he is no longer the PO??" - I was told that if I said anything I would be put on reproof for slander and gossip! I was both horrifed and devestated!
There was no way I could respect any of them and in a short time we changed congregations, much to my dislike! I tried to stay going to meetings but I knew it just wasn't right and after about 12 months I stopped going, this was in 1998. Between the way my daughters disfellowshipping had been handled, and everything with the PO I thought how can THIS be the 'truth' ??
To this day my daughter (30 this year) is not spoken to by my mother or my sisters, some nephews and their families! It sickens me and saddens me no end.
When my mother responds - "I am just following the rules" - I tell her that I hope they are the right ones!
I think I am currently being shunned by my mother although if I ask her outright if she isn't talking to me, she says "no - I'd tell you", but she hasn't picked up a phone to call my in over 12 months - it's always me calling. I don't want to any more and I feel so guilty about it.
Does feeling inadequate ever go away??
I have so much more I could write about but I am sure that's enough for now lol
Thank you for 'listening'
P.S My mother was baptised about 1992 I think ??
My story begins with my mother befriending a witness when she was in hospital giving birth to my oldest sister in 1953. My mum and dad became very close with this family even though my parents remained 'non-witnesses' - it wasn't for 'Aunty Ruth' trying on many occassions to convert my parents.
In April of 1957 my brother was born (my parenst third child). In December of that same year when my brother John was just 8 and 1/2 months old, he suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and sadly passed away
It was after this that Aunty Ruth managed to get my mother to listen to the 'truth'. My mother was comforted in learning that John would be ressurected and that she could be with him again in the 'new system'.
Mum was very slow at accepting the truth, and while my father never became a witness, he was respectful, and for the most part appeared to be ok about my mother's involvement with them. I was born 2 years after my brother and was given the middle name 'Ruth' after my mothers wonderful friend.
We still celebrated Christmas and birthdays for a time - I was 7 the last time I was 'allowed' to have a friend over for afternoon tea for my birthday. The last Christmas I remember was at age 4 I think?? Weird I know!
I was indoctrinated by my mother from a very early age - I remember disobeying her by riding a bicycle on the road (I was about 9 at the time), and being given a stern talking to and reminded "You know what happened to Adam and Eve when they disobeyed Jehovah!" Funnily enough, throughout my whole childhood and being reared in the teachings of the society, my mother remained in the sense of the word 'worldly' ?? She continued to smoke for many years and while it would take 51 years to fill in all the details of my upbringing, my mother never had the courage to take the final leap and become a baptised witness until after my father's death in 1990. My mother having had the knowledge of the 'truth' for some 30 plus years! Mum always managed to have a way to 'blame' dad for everything she wasn't able to do in her life - she still does, and the guys been gone for over 20 years! My two older sisters who are very close in age were very strong in the 'truth' and attended meetings regularly. They were baptised at a youngish age - I think around 15/16 ?? They are both in the 'truth' along with my mother to this day.
I tried very hard to accept what I was taught, but so many things I found questionable even when I was quite young. I didn't attend meetings much as a child because for the most part mum didn't go, and while my sisters went (thanks to my dad being their taxi), they didn't take me. I was introduced to many witnesses over the years through my sisters, and at age 16 I became a carer for a friend of theirs in the congregation. Leslie had recently began having seizures and she had a young son Justin, 3, to care for - she couldn't be left alone with him, so in between leaving school and going to college, I would go over daily and stay with her while the rest of the family worked and went to school. One of the sons Ben, ended up being my first boyfriend (much to his mothers disgust) - but that's another story lol.
So, at 16 I became quite involved with the 'truth' now that I had more access to brothers and sisters via this family. I started attending meetings regularly and for a few years was living my life as one. There were still so many things that I never felt comfortable with, but I loved the association and my boyfriend was from a very staunch witness family!
After a few years and breaking up with my 'first love', at about age 19 I was once again off and out into the world. I loved my job and was living the party life - much to my families disgust! My mother still not a fully-fledged witness!
I fell madly in love with a man and ended up having my lovely daughter at age 22 - he was to leave me when she was 10 months old, and due to my circumstances, I had to move back home with her. My mum and dad were "ok" about it, but it didn't last as my mother found it difficult for us to be living there and I then moved in with friends.
Not long after I met my now (worldly) husband of 25 years and we welcomed our son into our family
To cut to the chase - I missed my family and realised that the only way I was going to be accepted, was to once again become involved with the witnesses - and so I did, my hubby came with me! We were both baptised in 1989. He became a ministerial servant some time later. (My husband has also left the truth).
Our children were both raised witnesses of course! My daughter being baptised at age 15 (I wasn't for it but was told that it wasn't my place to discourage her if the elders thought she was spiritually mature). My son became an unbaptised publisher at age 12 - he was never baptised and neither are in the truth any longer. My daughter was disfellowshipped for 'fornication' at age 17 - My spiritual world went down hill rapidly from there.
The elders in my congregation handled things terribley and cracks started showing in SO many things!
I was very good friends with the PO's wife and she started 'sharing' confidential things with me regarding things her husband was dealing with involving the congregation! I was being filled in on his visits regarding pornography being found at brother so-and-so's place and just ALL the 'gossip'!!
There are so many things I cannot go into all the details, but the congregation and it's body of elders were a nightmare!
After a time, I decided I couldn't let this go, as I was truly concerned at what was going on here with the PO's wife and how wrong it was - I decided to seek out an elder I trusted and confided in him what I knew. The next thing I know - I am up before the committee and I had to write lists of what I knew and had quite a few meetings with them. I felt just awful !!- I felt like I'd betrayed my friend, but I had my obligation to Jehovah and the organisation!!
I ended up having a confrontation with my friend (the PO's wife) concerning a different matter, and all hell broke loose - she ended up having a nervous breakdown and ended up in a mental hospital! Her husband and sister both blamed me! This all came about at the same time the elders had found out about the PO.
Within a week or 2, an elder stood on the platform and made an announcement "Brother So-And-So is no longer acting as Presiding Overseer" please don't read anything more into it."....
EVERYONE assumed that it was because his wife was ill!! I had people saying to me "Isn't that terrible about Sue - poor PO having to stand down because she is sick??". I thought WT...? This wasn't because his wife was ill!! this was because he had betrayed you and you and you!! I went to the elders and said "What am I supposed to say to people when they say that to me and I know that's NOT why he is no longer the PO??" - I was told that if I said anything I would be put on reproof for slander and gossip! I was both horrifed and devestated!
There was no way I could respect any of them and in a short time we changed congregations, much to my dislike! I tried to stay going to meetings but I knew it just wasn't right and after about 12 months I stopped going, this was in 1998. Between the way my daughters disfellowshipping had been handled, and everything with the PO I thought how can THIS be the 'truth' ??
To this day my daughter (30 this year) is not spoken to by my mother or my sisters, some nephews and their families! It sickens me and saddens me no end.
When my mother responds - "I am just following the rules" - I tell her that I hope they are the right ones!
I think I am currently being shunned by my mother although if I ask her outright if she isn't talking to me, she says "no - I'd tell you", but she hasn't picked up a phone to call my in over 12 months - it's always me calling. I don't want to any more and I feel so guilty about it.
Does feeling inadequate ever go away??
I have so much more I could write about but I am sure that's enough for now lol
Thank you for 'listening'
P.S My mother was baptised about 1992 I think ??
