Hey everyone,
It's been a long time since my last visit here. I decided to walk away for a while and concentrate on writing short stories about my work experiences. It's been a nice distraction as I felt I was thinking too much about my family and the horrible childhood we had because of the JWs.
My wife and anyone I talk to always say the same thing: "It's in the past - don't think about it and let it affect you so much."
Easier said than done. It's not like walking away from a friend who stole from you, it's your blood, your history, the very foundation of your life which everything hinges from. I have 3 nieces I never met. My two sisters and one of my brothers have never met my son who is 33 years old now. How can I not think about it constantly?
It wouldn't be so bad if it didn't continually get thrown back in your face - that feeling of denegrade and worthlessness, and "just wait till God punishes you for not listening to me."
The oldest of five, I have two sisters still in the Borg and two brothers who are DF'd like me. I was Df'd because I joined the Navy during peace time at 18 years old after I left home at 16 to get away from the weekly beatings from my dad, who was beaten by his dad.
My two brothers left the JWs and became involved with other religious groups like Gateway and never really changed. The church building is different but the religious bigotry and self righteous pompitude is still there, willing to put me in my place because I have chosen, through much studies to be a non believer.
I thought by now me and my brothers would be united and stronger as a family but nothing has changed. The JWs taught my family the power of the silent treatment well and they proudly still use it against me and one another with full support from fellow like minded sheeple that surround them.
Recently, I e mailed my brother a copy of a thriller short story I wrote (which won 2nd place in a contest) and he responded with such religious vitriol hate, telling me I was full of demons, and even insinuated that he would use a gun against me like the guy in the story. It was so bizarre, I don't think we will ever be able to communicate again.
I try to keep in touch with my other brother but he hardly ever replies and when he does, it's all about jesus and praise the lord. It's so fake and shallow. I can't have a normal guy conversation with him. It's almost as if he is looking down at me and he's shaking his head "no" like I'm pathetic while he reads my letters or stories.
So what my point? I don't know. Maybe there is no point. Maybe shit DOES happen and I just have to keep on keepin on. Maybe my wife is right: "Stop dwelling on it and let it go."
But it sure would have been nice to have two "normal" brothers that I could talk to and have a beer without praying first. The JWs fucked us up so bad, I doubt it will ever happen. So sad.
It's been a long time since my last visit here. I decided to walk away for a while and concentrate on writing short stories about my work experiences. It's been a nice distraction as I felt I was thinking too much about my family and the horrible childhood we had because of the JWs.
My wife and anyone I talk to always say the same thing: "It's in the past - don't think about it and let it affect you so much."
Easier said than done. It's not like walking away from a friend who stole from you, it's your blood, your history, the very foundation of your life which everything hinges from. I have 3 nieces I never met. My two sisters and one of my brothers have never met my son who is 33 years old now. How can I not think about it constantly?
It wouldn't be so bad if it didn't continually get thrown back in your face - that feeling of denegrade and worthlessness, and "just wait till God punishes you for not listening to me."
The oldest of five, I have two sisters still in the Borg and two brothers who are DF'd like me. I was Df'd because I joined the Navy during peace time at 18 years old after I left home at 16 to get away from the weekly beatings from my dad, who was beaten by his dad.
My two brothers left the JWs and became involved with other religious groups like Gateway and never really changed. The church building is different but the religious bigotry and self righteous pompitude is still there, willing to put me in my place because I have chosen, through much studies to be a non believer.
I thought by now me and my brothers would be united and stronger as a family but nothing has changed. The JWs taught my family the power of the silent treatment well and they proudly still use it against me and one another with full support from fellow like minded sheeple that surround them.
Recently, I e mailed my brother a copy of a thriller short story I wrote (which won 2nd place in a contest) and he responded with such religious vitriol hate, telling me I was full of demons, and even insinuated that he would use a gun against me like the guy in the story. It was so bizarre, I don't think we will ever be able to communicate again.
I try to keep in touch with my other brother but he hardly ever replies and when he does, it's all about jesus and praise the lord. It's so fake and shallow. I can't have a normal guy conversation with him. It's almost as if he is looking down at me and he's shaking his head "no" like I'm pathetic while he reads my letters or stories.
So what my point? I don't know. Maybe there is no point. Maybe shit DOES happen and I just have to keep on keepin on. Maybe my wife is right: "Stop dwelling on it and let it go."
But it sure would have been nice to have two "normal" brothers that I could talk to and have a beer without praying first. The JWs fucked us up so bad, I doubt it will ever happen. So sad.
