There was so much darkness when I studied with Jehovah's Witnesses. It started out as a fun novelty, learning new stuff from the Bible. Then I learned of disfellowshipping (some that led to suicides), how people of the "world" would be destroyed, how I had to get my family into the "truth" or they would be destroyed, how demons supposedly haunted people who left, how all other religions (and all the loving people in them) would supposedly be destroyed. Something told me it wasn't healthy, but what could I say? They could back everything up from the Bible. I was young, confused & didn't understand emotional manipulation. I left without ever joining & felt guilty, as if something was wrong with me. Even though I was happier with life, not being with them, I thought I was guilty of loving the world & would be destroyed. I stuffed way into the back of my mind, which isn't healthy.
It all came back years later when I tried to get right w/ Jehovah & it made me suicidal. I can never be like JW's. I love people of all religions, I believe in things like voting & trying to make the world better. I liked my old personality. The depression & suicidal thoughts, which I could reveal to noone because it was all part of satan's game, caused me to lose my job & ruined a promising career. I stuffed it all back again, but now I'm dealing with it & I'm having a lot of depression. Now, I know this organization is not healthy. I was obviously brainwashed. Being a parent & knowing that I would never treat my kids the way I was treated (w/ all the Armagaddon fears) helped me realize this is not a good thing. It's no way to live. The bastards did a mindfuck on me. They interfered in my family & made life hell. That's not what a loving God would want. The WT cult is about darkness. I choose to belive God is love.
